He moved out today And called me

Great to see you on here again. Sorry for your circumstances. I was thinking about you and your story and journey while reading your recent posts. You are not starting from square one here. You have months of growth, knowledge, insights, and wisdom about yourself and this guy. This does not have to be the end all here for you, it is just a set back. A chance at a new beginning for you and your son. You sound like you knew very quickly into this living arrangement that things were not right, you stood up for yourself, you confronted him, and you got him the hell out. Don't beat yourself and don't think you are starting all over again because you are not. You have already done a great deal of the work on yourself. This guy frankly is an ass hole. I remember your story well and he was always all about him, and as we can see, nothing changed. I feel so bad for your pain and loss. I remember the first time my XN/P went to jail for 40 days, I spent that time reflecting, reading up on the disorder, crying, yelling, depression, and trying to envision a life without him. When he came back it was only for 6 weeks because the gig was up, I knew too much now and I just did not feel the same and was not able to put up with his crap to the degree I had in the past. I would not let him use my cell phone, and rarely my car, and only spent money doing what I wanted us to do together. He asked me to marry him again when he got out and I said no, I cannot possibly marry someone I do not trust, because marriage is based on trust and I do not have this with you. He was back in jail in less than 6 weeks and those 6 weeks were pure torture for me because I still loved him but I did not like him and that was a horrible arrangement for me. My point: obviously for most of us, we get away from them in stages as we grow and become more self aware, we may go back but it just never is the same as it was in the beginning, the camelot stage is over and we all know it. Sorry the dream was shattered for you hon and I understand how much it hurts, just remember you are better off without him, he is no damn good and you deserve the best. Glad you're back. Keep sharing, it's good to hear from you again. God bless, Goldie

Well, first of all, I am sorry that you feel so down. then end of any relationship is painful. The loss of our hopes & dreams. But you are really much better off. I would not worry about HIS stuff. He wouldn't if he had possession of your things. Nice of your ex to help you out here. In your shoes, I'd find a guy on Craig's List. Ask him how much he wants to get this stuff out of the room & deliver. Tell N to leave a check for the amount in your mailbox (cash check first). And have the CL guy do the job. If money is not such a big issue for you, then get the CL guy over & pay for the removal & delivery yourself. As long as this N's stuff is in your house, you are going to have to deal with N.

But it's NOT your fault. Just because he thinks it is does not make it so. He's a Narc, he'll blame you for rain. What he thinks of you is NOT true. He has no right to think ANYTHING about you. You are off limits! His logic isn't logic, it's Narc insanity. Take your own self opinion away from him. Own it, it is yours :) It hurts now but like MsVulcan said, this is the beginning of something better. Anything is better than having a man in your house that ignores you, abuses your son and you, rips you off and treats you with such contempt. Being alone and quiet with your boy and a good book or playing a game with him . . . where your life is more peaceful and predictable. Where you get to find yourself again :)

I'm sorry this is a rough time. But you know it needs to be done and you will be better off. I'm very glad you didn't give in and go to babysit him while he was moving stuff. Especially if you're feeling weak. Because actually it showed a lot of strength to say no, I won't come home while you're there. And hell no, you can't be in my house alone. Just remember the less you see him or talk to him, the better you will feel. You still won't feel great, but at least you will feel like you have some control in this situation. And while it's sad right now seeing your house half empty, you will soon start to see it as half full. There won't be as much stuff, but there also won't be heartache, lying, cheating, gaslighting, or just plain evil. It will become a home that is once again full of love and laughter with you and your son. Stay strong!