Is he a narcissist ?.

Dear friends, I feel very confused and need advice.
I have been married for 13 years with a man that has OCD and depressions. It has been very hard for me, particularly because I have felt very lonely, stripped of emotional support and have been the main bread winner and supporter of a family with 3 children.

Because of this situation, I was feeling really down this summer when I rencountered an old school friend. He started sending me emails, which started becoming more and more romantic, and would pursue me day and night telling me the most marvellous things. I was so vulnerable and so emotionally starved, that i fell for him ...He even pressured me to leave my husband 1 month later !!!. I was feeling really guilty about the situation, but it seemed like he had total control over me. He told me my husband didnt deserve me and that he was just loving me like an object. He would treat me differently and love me like a person.

Well, the fact is that once I fell for him, his attitude strated to change. Obviously no more romantic emails. The afternoons we used to see eachother, Fridays, were suddenly devoted to his son, even if I was feeling miserable and I needed to speak to him (and even if he was going to see his son on saturday and even sunday as well !). He would criticize my religious beliefs all the time and make me see videos of people ridiculizing christians. Even if i told him I didnt mind him being an atheist but that he should respect me, he just responded God did not exist and christians were stupid.

He also used to brag about his sexual conquests and spoke about the great "animal sex" he had with other women telling me once that I was a "lousy lay", even though he latter told me it was just a joke. I later saw he had playboy magazines and pictures of nude women on his desktop ...

However what most made me suffer was he sometimes didnt seem to care about my feelings. I would tell him I felt really hurt by something he said or did and he would either just get defensive or he would simply ignore it or make a joke about it ("dont be a drama queen"). If I had to go to the doctor he didnt even bother asking me if I was o.k. just "you arent pregnant are ypu ?" (he was always telling me, why did you have to have 3 children ?).

In the middle of the realtionship, I told him I wanted to stop seeing him becuase I was having an emotional breakdown. During the two weeks we were apart, he didnt even ask me how I was and when we got back together he just said "I missed You !!!" (didnt bother asking how I felt).

However everything was so confusing, beacuase he kept on sending me messages and telling me he loved me, and that I was his soulmate, beautiful and wanted me to move in with him- He continually asked me to marry him !!!!. I thin k he somehow suffered when we were more distant and I kind of feel sorry for him. I have stopped seeing him but he says he misses me and wants to get back together. Its weird but i also miss him and I dont want him to suffer (am I sick or am I a codependent ?).

I feel really bad and depressed. I had never before cheated on my husband. Im confused after so many months of anguish and confusion. I feel like I have been in an emotional roaller coaster. Looking for answers, I came up with your message board and I felt really relieved. Please help me giving me your advice.

Thanks !.