He told me to 'eff' myself...and now? I'm truly done! Going NC....need prayers

Ok!! First...happy Sunday. It's a glorious day!

Why? Well...here's what happened last night. He seemed pissy about me taking a nap...lol I posted that in another thread. Then, he said he was going to take a nap. Ok...whatev.

So...I sent him a text saying that I'd call him around 11:30 or so. And ladies? I honest to God felt...he was going to not answer. (We talk a lot when he doesn't have to work the next day...late at night--it was our thing)

So...I call around 11:30...no answer. 11:45...no answer. I was done. Left no msg. No text. I wake up around 5am to turn the ceiling fan on, and turned my phone on...he had left a voicemail, and some texts. His voicemails seemed agitated...''I didn't think you'd be up, Dee...but, I didn't get any texts or voicemails from you...so, guess you're asleep. Sorry, I fell asleep, and just woke up. I'll call you in the morning.''

Who gives a fuck, asshole. Sorry, I'm just so upset that I even took this man back for a second.

So...fast forward to this morning. I wake up...and more texts...flat/unemotional. Then he leaves another vm...agitated. ''Uh, yeah it's me. Your phone's still off I guess...call me later.''

So, I called him just now. Someone is VERY mad at me breaking up with him. Someone is very argumentative. He told me off. Told me ''You suck.'' Told me I'm retarded...he should treat me like the bitch I am. Told me that I'm needy, and not understanding of his job...AND IF ONLY I COULD BE UNDERSTANDING, NONE OF WHAT'S TRANSPIRED BETWEEN US WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. He gets shitty because of me. Because I don't understand he can't text. (I admit that I didn't understand he could not take texts or calls...because? He never told me so! Which he claims that he explained this in great length before he took the job)

He went on to say...''you're a hot woman, you'll have guys beating your door down before no time...which probably is happening already, and why you want me outta the picture. You're a fuckin quitter dee...and I don't know why I ever bothered calling you back yesterday.''

I was calm, ladies...the ENTIRE time. I kept saying...'not sure what to say. Not sure what to say.' He said...''Yeah, of course you're not sure what to say...that's all you ever fucking say!''

He told me to go fuck myself...then he called back. He berated me some more...then, told me to go fuck myself. Then, the final call I said...''What do you want from me?''

He said...''I wanted a gf to be loving and understanding. Apparently, you can't be that. Apparently, you're a quitter...and I don't do quitters.''

I replied...''I don't know what to say.'' LOL
But, I truly didn't.

He then said...''That is where you say Dee...I will try harder, babe. I don't want to lose you babe. I will do what I can to make things better.''

And then I said nothing. And he said...''you know what? Let's just go back to what you said on Friday night. GOODBYE!'' And he hung up yet again.

Phone's off. I am truly NC now. But...it's interesting how everything...was my fault. The demise of our relationship--all my fault. I don't care if he thinks this, though. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. He had the balls to say to me...''God forbid I get cancer...you'll be out the door.''

I said...''coming from a man who has been through 4 failed marriages, you have no room to talk, my friend.''

When you talk down to these types...they go ape shit. Which he did...he said...''Oooohh hitting below the belt now, eh? I would never have pegged you for a bitch.''

I said...''I'm not. But, what I say is truth no? Or weren't you married 4 times?''

Around this point was when he told me to go fuck myself...and hung up...that was phone call 2 I think. lol

Strangely...I'm relieved because I'm freeeeeee!!!

I never want to speak to this man again. Ever.

If he writes, doesn't write...I know what he thinks of me. He is a psychopath...I really believe this. And he has no love for me, whatsoever. When I started standing up for my self...that's when everything changed. Whatever. Not sure why I kept picking up, but I needed to hear him call me a bitch. I needed to hear how venomous he could get....because THIS is what everyone warned me he'd do. I didn't cause this. I wasn't this horrible person he paints me to be. I did tell him...''you will go off and tell everyone it's all me...just like you told me, it was all of your 4 wives' faults. it's not all us. and i hope you learn something about yourself in this.'' He didn't like me bringing up his failed marriages. Did I mention this man is only 38? 38 and 4 failed marriages? What the eff was I thinking??

Please pray that I stay strong...and I find myself again. And I find peace. Thank you ladies, for all of your continued support and help.