He wins again! This is what happened last night
He wins again! This is what happened last night
Its gonna be long....
Guys I am so mad at myself. I let him win again! So the nice guy has been around the last week or so. Hes been telling me how he will change and is going to prove it to me, He wants to be together in the future, he wont ruin it this time, he wont leave me, he loves me, he wont turn into an ass, he knows he is the issue, blah blah blah. I keep telling him no and that maybe one day we can be friends but the problem is that I KEEP talking to him. We both left for the weekend on trips, but I came home early. I didnt have service and I think he only does half of the time and he is on a boat alot so we havent talked much since friday afternoon. And the last thing he said to me is he knows hes a jerk and chances are he will mess something up but he knows that I am in his future and if I work on not getting mad so easy he will work on not being a jerk. I said you will be an ass though and he said I hopefully wont this time... and thats the last thing he said.
Well I went to a party last night with our mutual friends because he is out of town so I could FINALLY go hang out with everyone. I get there and there are some girls there. They were hanging out and I was pretty good friends with one of them and didnt really know the others. The girl I know starts asking me if I have talked to the N and I said yes he is hovering me again. Well they flipped! Apparently he has tried to sleep with all of them and they have turned him down. The girls that didnt know me were so grossed out that I ever dated him because they think he is disgusting. Apparently that 17 year old thinks that they are dating and he took her virginity. They told me that he slept with his best friends little sister who is 16 and took her virginity. This friend is also his room mate and his friends brother lives there too. They wanted to kick him out but cant afford rent without him right now. One of them told me that they were in his truck and when she turned him down to have sex with him he pulled out his penis and said "this is what you are missing out on baby."
Then after all of this... I go into the bathroom and I guess I didnt lock the door. One of his good friends that has been with him almost daily follows me into the bathroom. He locks the door behind him, turns off the light, picks me up and throws me on the counter, grabs my head and says "I dont even care if the N finds out about this". I ask what the hell he thinks he is doing and he said hes been thinking about it for awhile now and wants to be with me. What is this?! I think if we kept count this is the 9th one of his friends to do this same shit! I figure he HAS to be saying SOMETHING to them!
None of this really hit me last night and I just kept drinking my troubles away. Well when I get up this morning and think about everything that I heard I flipped! I hadnt heard from the N in a few nights and I wasnt sure if he had service or not but I text him. I said "what are you saying to your friends? That I am easy or good in bed?" I got an immediate response! He said "WTF? I dont talk like that to people." Then I said "Then why do all your guy friends try to sleep with me when I see them?" he said " hahaha because your tits are huge". Then I told him that I heard he slept with his friends sister and that he was dating the 17 year old. He denied sleeping with that girl of course and said that it was a huge rumor and people know its not true. Then he said hes not dating that 17 year old and he doesnt care what people say or think and asked who I was with who would tell me such things.
I didnt tell him who I was with but I told him everything else that I heard and said that he is disgusting and that it will never work with me and him ever and that I dont want to see him. He hasnt responded in hours and now I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. I am not sure if he doesnt have service and will get all my psycho texts when he does or if he just doesnt want to respond. I feel like an idiot. I should have been happy that I got the nice guy and turned him down. I could have walked away with dignity and knowing that I did the final D&D, but no. Now I feel like he broke up with me all over again. I am scared that he ran away because I called him out. He usually would just deny it or be mean to me by saying its none of my business and we werent together but he just isnt responding at all.
I dont know what I want out of this situation. Part of me says GOOD it is done now, stick a fork in it. The other part wants him to respond and at least say something. I literally sent him like 10 crazy texts throughout the day. Im scared he just lost service and will read all of them later thinking that I am crazy. Knowing him though he might just pretend like I didnt say that and act normal tomorrow. I just want him to admit what he did! I could handle it and think he was gross and laugh at him if he said "yes I slept with them, yes I dont love you, yes I am nasty." Then I could stand it. I dont even want to be with him at all! Why am I so upset? I also dont want him thinking that those texts meant that I want him or am jealous. I just want him to admit what he does! I dont care who he sleeps with or if he goes to jail or what happens in his life! I dont! So why am I upset he isnt responding?
I hate the lying. I hate the he said she said game. I hate that he is so convincing. I hate that I always believe him. I hate that he plays me against people. I hate that he is not responding. I hate that I am back to this place. :(
Ok, first of all
So glad to have you back
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Thanks :)
Update
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Rainbow
You aren't his puppet
I know exactly what it feels
Closure
I'm interested to hear about
Aliveagain
So true! I remember mine
Reputation
Nevergoback
I know this one well. My
I just read your post and
Rainbow, I just want to say
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
I worry
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Rainbow...
Wholeagain hit the nail on
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Rainbow it sounds, from what
Peace. J
Rainbow ask yourself what is
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Im so sorry your narc is a
Rainbow
Nevergoback
I forgot
_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
rainbow
It isn't really sick, it is
Nevergoback
He is punishing me. AND its
_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Rainbow, I think it's
I second this
betteroff
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Rainbow