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Headed to "Marriage" Couseling. wish me luck.

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#1 Sep 1 - 1PM
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Headed to "Marriage" Couseling. wish me luck.

Here I go..I am at work at I will meet him there. The Dr knows and agrees he is NPD and we are disguising his therapy as "marriage counseling." Wait until the Dr. hears that he got caught stealing last Wednesday as soon as he left his office. Well girls, you know my horrible ordeal. Here goes the begining of the end. Thanks and love you all for the help. I will be back for an update.

Sep 1 - 1PM
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Good Luck, Hun...

And when you do decide to inform him that you are officially leaving him, it may not be today I realise, but when that time comes, you may want to do it in the Dr.'s office, if possible. That's the advice I got from my former therapist when we both went to see him. Its neutral territory and you have the opportunity to officially end it with as much grace and less abuse if you do it just one on one with the N.
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

shanasmommy- ok, great advice

Neutral environment, makes sense. I do still have to leave the dr office though. lol. Anyway, three theif charges in 6 months? He maybe going to jail. Maybe I should shut up until then? Your right, it won't be today. I am not ready at all. I can feel myself not loving him the same though. It's weird trying to get over something that never was. Leave it to me to have another difficult relationship. My 1st husband was a real jerk. My current H Narc, adopted them. UGH. I'm not sure what to expect from today's session? The dr and I both know he is a narc, i have some printed material and my BB journal. P.S- I changed my BBmess status today...NAME (pic of a broken heart icon) To get something you never had, you need to do something you never did! lol...I just know he is scratching his head trying to figure out what that means. Honestly, it has nothing at all to do with him, I just saw it and liked it. He doesnt have the intellect
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

LOLtimmy12boy

"lol...I just know he is scratching his head trying to figure out what that means. Honestly, it has nothing at all to do with him, I just saw it and liked it. He doesnt have the intellect" You bet he is scratching his head....trying hard to figure out exactly how that line pertains to him!
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

and....

also, but breaking up with him in therapy, it will be the closest thing you will have to closure of the relationship, especially if you go NC immediately thereafter. None of this back and forth bullshit like most of us have done. Make a clean break of it. Sorry to say that you dont have much control over what they do, but you are in control of yourself. good Luck!
Sep 1 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

shayna mommy-?

You mean, I may get some sorta story or closure? Instead od NC and him running? I'm definatly leaving now. Ill be back in a few hrs...Nervous. :(
Sep 1 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

by closure,

I mean for yourself only. Narcs dont get closure, they dont want it. They want to leave the door open forever for them to weasel their way back, but dont let him. when youre ready, try to break up with him in front of the doctor. Make it clear youre through, and that you only want miimal contact, pertaining to your kids from here on out. Trust me, he doesnt want NC, but you need it, so you will have to make sure youre the one who initiates no contact and make sure you stick to it,,,,no matter how hard he tries to bait you. Its essential for your sanity honey.
Sep 1 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

closure? not even close

At therapy he was there 10 min before me. Normally I'd be worried he would try to have dr think I'm nuts but today knowing that the dr knows he has NPD I was chill. The dr tried some crazy communication with us. I'm sure it had a point but he wanted H to talk, me repeat, and then say "did I get that right?" Then the H answered wheather or not I understood him. So, the hour went by without me getting anything out. I feel like I've gone too far from him to return so I'm almost going thru the stages while liivng together. So bizarre.