He's Back!!!

I'm new to this forum. I just needed to vent about the ex-N friend who tried to infiltrate my marriage and my family when my DH and I were have serious issues. We almost divorced over this friend which would have been perfect for him if I had not stumbled onto info regarding N's and how they operate. He was trying to swoop in with charm and woo me and I was lonely and desperate for attention. Without going into the horrible D & D I experienced right here are the facts. I got help and went into therapy, my husband and I went into marriage counseling to work on the issues that allowed this predator to come between us. I tried to get my DH to cut off his friendship with the N because he was oblivious to his obvious Sociopathy. He treated women horribly including me by being cruel and inappropriate. He used me as a Mommy figure to help him with his issues and used my DH as a father figure and tried to pit us against one another as sport. With the instigator gone and the professional help we have received things are going strong between us again. We have become like a team again without this outside party trying to create havoc. With friends like that you don't need enemies. My DH and I each have taken responsiblity for our part in the issues we had and have been moving forward with love and mutual respect for one another and I am so happy! It's like the N saw a weakness during our family's stressful time and capitalized on it to play us against one another and to feed off of our energy and joy. It has been over 2 years since we went NC. I only received one personal attempt at contacting me about several months in where I stupidly allowed myself to break the NC in order to tell him to leave me alone again. Now I know that's not NC. So we have many mutual friends/acquaintances/coworkers and he has been sending people to us behind the scenes to entice my husband to come to gatherings where he is or even at his home. Or he puts up mutual acquaintances to asking me personal questions about my life and my marriage who don't know what this person is. We stay tight lipped and private and avoid gatherings where these mutual people are. These people are unsuspecting of the N and I will not publicly call the N out for many reasons one of which is he is vicious and could jeopordize DH's career. Also according to my therapist its the drama which feeds him. After two years of NC I received an message from him apologizing profusely for his behavior. It was a total Hoover Maneuver! It did not even address the horrid things he said and did, only minor infractions. It had wonderful statements in it about me and my beautiful kids and my family and the amazing support he got from me and blamed it all on his awful childhood. It was so convincing written I started feeling like we had been too harsh on him. It brings up so many feelings of anger, wariness and mostly fear about this interloper sticking his nose into my life. I am resentful and pissed yet there is that tiny unhealthy part of me that likes the attention of being needed. It is hard to admit it, but I have to acknowledge the truth to stay well. I know now he was a lie of a person. He presented himself as a good person and we cared about him as if he were family. He triangulated us and created such a mess in our home. Why can't I reconcile the false self he presented us with to the reality of his actions all of a sudden? Now I feel intermittent guilt about not accepting that apology even though I know its a ploy to get back into our lives. Our therapists agree that continued NC is the way to go with this weird and complex situation so I remain quiet and try not to feel bad about rejecting an apology. I try to remember all I have read about how these sickos work and prey. I have always been susceptible to guilt being laid at my feet. But I am strong and I choose not to pick it up. I just hate having all these feelings of sadness and anger. I can see him for what he is in my mind even if my heart cannot accept there are actually people like this in the world. I will not reply and I will not forget no matter how it pains me. I just hate feeling like this.