How to respond to Narc after you figure it out?

About a week after Narcboy started giving me the could shoulder is when I learned about NPD and that he probably has it. That was 5 weeks ago.

We haven't spoken since - but a few weeks ago he did leave me a voicemail saying that he'd call me either later that night or the next morning. By the time I got the message, he had already failed to call me like he said he would. But I know he'd try to flip it around on my and make it MY fault for not calling HIM back. WTH??

My best guess is that really he's just a big coward.

I know its likely that we will HAVE to speak again at some point, we do have some business related issues to wrap up. Even if I remain NC, our paths will be crossing sooner or later since we're in the same industry. I want to be mentally ready even if I don't know when that day will come. It could be tomorrow, it could be a few months from now.

At this point, part of me does want him to call me, but I know I'm not ready to hear from him at the same time. Since we haven't spoken since before I figured out what he is, the thought of talking to him makes me nauseous.

I'd love to be able to tell him off - That my biggest mistake was expecting too much from him - you know, things like honesty, loyalty, respect... things that occur naturally in "normal" friendships. And that he couldn't even be "bothered" to follow through with what he said he'd do in his message. But I know that would be a huge Narc injury - he likes to think that he's loyal and respectful etc... NOT. But I DON'T want to give him any incentive to start or worsen a smear campaign against me.

I read on another site that if you want to control your Narc,(as in, having a hope of him not smearing you) you need to play into his fear - and what do Narcs fear? Being exposed. I wouldn't actually try to expose him, but I've thought about casually dropping into the conversation something seemingly innocent, like, "You know, I know you better than you think I do...." (which is TRUE!) And he's smart enough to know what I mean... and then just let his little paranoid mind run with that.

Would a better approach be to just pretend I don't know what I know? I feel like now that I know that it's all a game to him, that I have to play a game too - and that feels so dishonest to me. (Even though he doesn't deserve honesty, that doesn't mean I should stoop to his level.)