How to stop missing him

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#1 Sep 8 - 1AM
Sea
Sea's picture

How to stop missing him

Came across this very good article on a blog.

http://www.zabrinah.com/2010/07/missing-him-when-you-know-its-wrong.html

Found this method especially helpful:

“Acknowledge. Accept. Allow.”

Step Four: My tai chi teacher always says, “Acknowledge. Accept. Allow.” This mantra has honestly changed my life as it can apply to any situation. It explains what to do with your heart and your mind.

You must acknowledge that you still have feelings for them. And because of those feelings, he’s going to pop up in your mind every once in a while (if not more often). Don’t tell yourself, “Stop!! Stop!! What are you doing?” Instead, notice that you’ve thought of him and gently redirect your focus to something more productive.

You must accept that you have a history with this person. Accept that you may have regrets, pain, and several mistakes from the past. But also accept the fact that you are now deciding to move on. Accept that he was only a segment of the incredible journey that is your life.

Allow yourself to let him go. Sounds easy, but it really isn’t. Your heart will cling to him. Once you make some progress, old things will come up, and pull you back a few steps. Once he escapes your conscious mind and you stop thinking of him on a regular basis, your subconscious mind will have him appear in your dreams or nightmares. Don’t get discouraged. It’s normal to struggle, worry, and have anxiety. Allow it, but always redirect your focus. Keep heading in the right direction. I know you can do it.

Sep 9 - 6AM
Sea
Sea's picture

I depend alot on this blog

I depend alot on this blog for strength. I bookmarked it as well. When i feel vulnerable i go and read again. I like her little cartoons as well. I have acknowledge. Acceptance was so difficult that i broke 30 days NC just to find out if i meant anything to him at all. I have move past that as well. Now allowing him to go. This one is a challenge but i know this forum and 6 steps method and good friends around me will help me get thru with a very impt thing call TIME. Time heals. He appeared with the new ow yesterday i was told. I am taking deep breath and say let him go. I redirect my energy to sports during free time. Spending more time at work. Going out with friends. I am not ready to move on to new man yet. The hurt was very deep. I need time for myself to heal. Hugs Sumiko
Sep 8 - 3PM
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

This is a really good

This is a really good article. I think about Narc Boy far more than I really should, and I know that I still have feelings for him. I really wish I didn't. I must do better!
Sep 8 - 1PM
monilove
monilove's picture

Great post!

I definitely bookmarked this one on my iphone, for easy access on those days where I might actually miss the asshole. Have not been missing him at all, since he assaulted me last me weekend and started haranguing me via random payphones earlier this week, but he has stopped all of a sudden (probably due to the police report I filed!) So right now, all is calm and quiet and I only think of him in passing. But no doubt something or someone will trigger a memory, causing me to miss him. This article is a great tool for that day if it ever comes! Thanks Monique
Sep 8 - 1PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

This a really great article.

This a really great article. Very helpful. Thank you so much for posting it. I guess my mind is working in a warped way today. I couldn't help myself when I first read the title to your post, How to stop missing him. What popped into my head was "Shooting lessons?!?!". lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Sep 8 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

My aim is true!

It is funny when you rethink it. "I missed my ex, so I worked on my aim."
Sep 8 - 1PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thanks for sharing

Keep reading it helps to learn about what just hit you. Great read. Not easy as the article states but so worth the effort to get yourself back. God bless, Goldie
Sep 8 - 9AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Sea, thank you for

posting this link. It is an outstanding article with outstanding advice. If followed, it's foolproof, just like the six steps here on The Path Forward. Thank you for sharing this. Stay strong! Sincerely, (not) spinning. JUST LETTING GO!

spinning