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I am suspisous with everyone, it's sad but necessary!

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#1 Feb 11 - 8AM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

I am suspisous with everyone, it's sad but necessary!

I am 51 years old, and it took me until I was 50 to learn that there are people in the world that are pure bad, or evil. It's kind of sad, but oh so necessary.

I have a huge heart, I can feel your pain and identify it before you do. But my number one concern today to to protect my heart, and feel my own pain and identify that.

It might sound selfish, but if I don't learn to take care of myself, no one else is going to. I love and cherish myself. So, I better learn to identify the sicko's. Thanks Hunter for your post. It trigger something in me.

I think the better I get at boundaries, my guard will soften, but it will never weaken.

Boundaries, what a concept. I am learning to set them with everybody, getting lots of practice. Setting them with kids, parents, friends. I love recovery. I missed you guys!

Jen

Feb 12 - 5AM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

yes Jen, that is an important realization

I have encounted the exact same situation. We need to always BE ON GUARD and now protect ourselves, and take PREVENTATIVE measures to make sure that this never happens again. I come here as a reminder.
Feb 11 - 11AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Boundaries are of the utmost

Boundaries are of the utmost importance. Once you identify and develop boundaries for yourself and the others in your life, it sets you free almost. We, from our very young lives, never created the boundaries needed for life in general. We weren't taught them, and in most cases, for very good reason. Most of us are products of a narcissistic parent. To teach us boundaries that were needed, would be like going to war with the enemy after giving them all of our ammunition. We were almost forbidden to develop boundaries I would imagine. But, we have them now, or will have them soon, and that is of the utmost importance. Eventually, you will trust again, but first, you must trust yourself, and your judgement. You will for sure. :)
Feb 11 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
Run4it
Run4it's picture

Narcissistic Mother & NPD Father

thus, no boundaries. She is not well and 77 and still tries every method possible to bust my boundaries. No wonder I have struggled my entire life with this. I'm 53 and just now FULLY realizing that it must be a daily practice for me. I was taught to believe that all my goodness was for everyone else's taking. Give, give, give and suck it up when it came to disappointment. Yes, boundaries were forbidden in my home. No more though. You are so right about trusting your own judgement.
Feb 11 - 10AM
abreva
abreva's picture

Yes.

This is the way we should have been raised. Instead we were raised on pop-psychology.
Feb 11 - 8AM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

gratefuljen

I used to trust people until they proved they were not worthy of being trusted. I now believe people have to prove themselves to be trustworthy before I give them the benefit of the doubt. It's unfortunate, but it keeps me safe.
Feb 11 - 8AM
sadderbutwiser
sadderbutwiser's picture

so true

i am 50 years old and i could have written this post. i used to be a pollyanna, but no more. having feelings and being nice just doesn't work with some people. there are so many fake people out there. my narc being the worst of all. sad but true. hence, my name.