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I broke no contact after 2 weeks :(

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#1 Nov 24 - 4PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

I broke no contact after 2 weeks :(

I broke no contact today and it has almost been 2 weeks! I unblocked him today and made up an excuse in my head why I needed to talk to him. (The reason is true, it just wasnt an urgent situation). I noticed yesterday that the exN also stole all of my winter stuff when he broke in. His dad contacted me so I asked him to ask the N if he has my stuff. The N told his dad that he gave it back to me, he did this knowing that he did not and that I would contact him, I would put money on it! And guess what? He was right.

Today I asked him if he had my stuff, he told me that it is most likely in his storage unit (not the same thing that he told his dad!). Then I got sucked into a conversation with him about holiday plans, how work was going, how my car was doing in the snow, told me what he has been up to, how he wants a new car, what he plans to get, ect.

And now he randomly stopped responding just like he always does and I am sitting here waiting for him to say something.

I plan on blocking him again today. I was just so upset. I can only block him from texting me not calling. And normally if he doesnt hear from he within a couple of days and if I dont respond to a text he will call but he didnt this time. While I know that this is a good thing it also hurt. I am sure that he was waiting it out for me to contact him.

He must have new supply right now and doesnt need me or think of me. Last time he had a new girl she wasnt good enough at giving him supply because he kept me around the whole time. Maybe this girl is better?

However, when I text him I got an immediately got a response from him. This just proves that he will never go away. Even if he is not contacting me he will respond when I contact him. So why am I so sad? I know that IF I ever need him he will be just a phone call away. Willing to answer or come over whenever I want him to, even if he has a new girl.

I felt better when I contacted him at first. When I am talking to him it is like a rush. Like a drug. I am so pulled into the conversation and it feels so good. Then when he doesnt respond and leave me hanging I kick myself for breaking no contact. Sad :(

Nov 24 - 7PM
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Awe

Its ok and it happens! Your curious and human honey. 2 weeks is great. See how upsetting it is to feel so discarded? I hated waiting for a response. I would text him with a question and he wouldn't answer. I hated that. They will never change. When they need attention, they will try to get it no matter what. Now that he is satisfied, he won't answer.
Nov 24 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

It's ok! I read somewhere

It's ok! I read somewhere going NC is not always the answer. If you break the rule your conversation will end up not what you were expecting to hear. The more you get disappointed the less you will want to have a conversation. I left expensive jewelry, & cloths with him. It's not worth it to me to get it back. The next chick probally looks great in it. She can have him and my cloths. Love yourself, think of the bad. Get a calendar and mark off the days of NC. The longer it goes the better you will feel. Enjoy the holiday tomorrow with the people who really care about you. He is trash and you are better than that. Be strong. If you feel like calling write here instead.
Nov 24 - 4PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Oh geez

Its the worst feeling right? I guess you finally will get to point that you begin to associate talking to him with sadness and pain as opposed to euphoria. They sure can make you feel like a junkie. Its the worst addiction ever. For me once I start texting I cant stop especially when I am pissed. Just like a true addict. Get your sword out and cut the chord if you can.
Nov 24 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
Eliza
Eliza's picture

wow

"They sure can make you feel like a junkie. Its the worst addiction ever. For me once I start texting I cant stop especially when I am pissed. Just like a true addict." this was/is me to a "t"!!!!! Eliza
Nov 24 - 4PM
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

Don't beat yourself up over it...

Don't beat yourself up over it, start over, if you don't this will be a continuous cycle. Don't worry about whatever/whomever supply he has, worry about yourself and getting detoxed. He didn't suck you into a conversation, as you had full control over your actions. He didn't say what you wanted to hear? That he misses you, perhaps? gone silent...that's what they do, he's never going to do or say what you want, you know this already, start over, this is not about anything he has of yours, let it go, and try to let him go, best wishes. stay~striving

stay~strong

Nov 24 - 4PM
Eliza
Eliza's picture

i have been there....so many

i have been there....so many times...i know the hurt/pain you mean...even though we know they are no good....it still feels like rejection and it hurts so much.. even though they may not have truly loved us because they are not capable of it i have to acknowledge to myself that i DID love him....(for whatever reason!) and getting over that is hard....but from what i read and hear it DOES get better.... hugs, Eliza