i did something really bad that was good for me

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kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
i did something really bad that was good for me

i broke into his emails.
here's what i found out:
his back packing trip was one of his x girlfriends and her friend coming to visit, he payed for their hotel room. an elegant hotel, while he deducted 80 dollars from my support this month...
he also has been writing to women on craigslist SURPRISE!! wow.. I'm shocked... here's the heartbrake for me

copy and pasted shit from his emails:

i made such a big big mistake. i married someone i didnt love, thinking i would eventually, that the relationship would grow and get better. i was going to be good and do all the right things and we were going to have children and start a family and life would be good

then suddenly 4 years pass by in this disastrous relationship and i'm back to square one with nothing to show for it but 4 years of wear and tear. stupid me.
you sound a lot smarter.

the bad boy thing - what is it with you girls and that ? i admit i've been bad before and when i was, i became exhausted from all the sex. but i was just outwardly bad - and the problem with it was i was about to ruin my life. i burned bridges with people - i made enemies - i was messing up my career - and came close to going to jail too many times. But that was back in my thirties. been there done that. now i would just like to meet a nice lady who appreciates some sanity and safety

and

i'm 6 ft tall with a little meat on my bones. i dont ride a motorcycle (used to until i saw my life flash before my eyes once too often) but i have been known to ride my bicycle to work and back. i dont play a guitar either but i am an amateur percussionist - am not that bad really. and i also have a few flutes i try to play on occasion. its important to be a gentleman about things. and i love to lay around and watch old movies - its just so hard to find time to do such things. i'm no saint either but i've given up playing the bad-boy its no way to get ahead.

i know my resemblances to your ex are only superficial but i couldnt help but notice a few. i'll tell you something about guys Michal as if you didnt know already - we are heartbreakers. you girls are soft inside and you start loving us and we just take what we want and go. its terrible it really is.

i hope you had a nice day maybe you will write back sometime

and

i'm a lawyer.

the last person i was really crazy about - before my disastrous marriage - left me. i had heartache for a year i missed her so bad. but time has a way of making you forget and i'm completely over it. she even called me recently when she heard i was single again. she wants me back now but its too late

have a laugh !

there are obviously many others, but this is the only i saw with me mentioned at all...

it sure is nice to know he was heartbroken over his x, but he never loved me.... good to know....

kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
i'll tell you something
i'll tell you something about guys Michal as if you didnt know already - we are heartbreakers. you girls are soft inside and you start loving us and we just take what we want and go. its terrible it really is. can you guys take that apart for me? is that him warning her?
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture
More or less
He's telling a rare bit of truth, ugly as it is. I'm sure he's seeing how she'll respond. If she says anything less than fuck you asshole after reading that, he knows he has some workable material in her. He's looking to see how good her protective instincts when it come to her own emotional, mental and even physical safety are. He also wants to make sure that she knows *all* guys are assholes. Leveling the playing field so to speak. If she questions this or protests, he might follow it up with "well, I'm just being honest, most guys aren't but this is the truth, they just don't tell you." Bullshit! I used to hear that alot. xoox
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture
Yeah, he's warning her but
Yeah, he's warning her but hoping she won't listen. That way, if she calls him on it later, he can say, I told you men are heartbreakers. And it also makes him sound sensitive, like he cares about women and their feelings.
Mariline
Mariline's picture
Fierflie, but how much do
Fierflie, but how much do you want to suffer before understanding that you must stay away from him? First what you are doing it 's illegal. If he finds out he will have a weapon against you. This is not smart at all. Do not become with the same standards of a Narc "if it suits me it's okay" no. You are not this kind of person. If it is illegal it is not okay. Not even for you. You only get more hurt from reading his emails. Fierflie, find the strength to build or rebuild a complete new life far from him and from this nightmare. One day you will be horrified that you were able to love such a monster. Find a job. Become independent. Find a home on your own. Face life. You can. You don't need him. Life is so full of purpose also without a man. You are such a beautiful girl. Stay alone for a while and heal yourself, then start thinking about another relationship. But you have something else to think right now. Think about your life. Do not give your life and your independence away. Never. Stop doing this to yourself, little Fierflie. I feel so much for you.
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture
Fierflie
Ok this is a strange question but was it easy to hack into his email. Ok before everyone thinks Im going to hack in to the N's email rest assured I have no desire to see stuff that is going to hurt me. I couldnt take it though I know it exists. Anyway I think mine has hacked into my email. Something just tells me he has as he indicated to me that someone has tried to hack in to his. I usually find when he tells me something about what someone is doing to him that it is in fact him doing it to me. The reason why I suspect is I sent some emails to clueless about the match.com. I even set up a profile and guess what? POOF the match.com account is gone. Things that make you go hmmmmmm Oh and did I mention he is an IT guy....
ewa
ewa's picture
Just do not tell him you did
Just do not tell him you did it. You know who he is, you know what is he doing and it should be enough. Keep it for yourself and move on please. He is surely a N, and nothing can be done.
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
easy for me, yeah.
easy for me, yeah.
Briseis
Briseis's picture
This was not good for you.
This was not good for you. This is exactly the kind of behavior that is known to be very BAD for you.
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
briesis
well i dont feel bad about not watching his dog or want to be his 'friend' anymore, thats for sure.
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
And I will add a new spin
I wouldn't be surprised if the dude was a closet fag. Men who hate women that much, sometimes hate simply because we are women. I was never able to prove but I had a hefty clue to suspect at MINIMUM, mine was BI. Which is okay if he was honest...wouldn't be my thing, but at least I'd have the choice. To troll on the side, risk my getting aids! Unforgiveable. SO - the way I see it, in some cases, they're BEARD shopping, they have to in order to keep up that front. Watch him a little closer, check out his friends, does his pinkie go up from time to time unconsciously...umhmmmm Yea, the hell with them. They're not friggin human!
better off
better off's picture
It's been postulated that
It's been postulated that they only want sex with men because it's the closest they can get to having sex with themselves, which is always preferred. When narcs have sex they are just using your body to masturbate with.
better off
better off's picture
Creepy
He is such a total creep.. oh I was a bad boy but I'm over it now...though he lists a decade's worth of activities that apparently border on criminal, but hey, that wasn't the real him. Sure. Listen to what he said, and stop using your own filter of no self-worth... because what he said about HIMSELF is true: "i made such a big big mistake. i married someone i didnt love, thinking i would eventually, that the relationship would grow and get better. i was going to be good and do all the right things and we were going to have children and start a family and life would be good" Okay? He did make a big big mistake. He married someone he didn't love.. because he CANNOT love ANYONE. He will NEVER LOVE ANYONE, but he decided to get married anyway. Even though he is incapable of love, he thought somehow it would "get better" even though he has an incurable personality disorder. Then he said "I was going to be good." What the hell does THAT tell you? He was "going to be" good? Because of course he is NOT good, and has never BEEN good, and doesn't know HOW to be good... but somehow this time he was "going to be good and do all the right things" even though he is INCAPABLE of doing all the right things... and "we were going to have children and start a family and life would be good." Except HE...CAN'T..DO IT. Do you see, Fierflie.. this is the closest thing to a confession that you will ever get... you are reading blame into it, that somehow YOU didn't measure up... but read it again. Read what he said, how he exposed himself. He did NOT say, this time SHE was going to be good and do all the right things.... NO! SHE probably always does the right things... HE is the one who cannot be or do anything good. Then he said it was a disastrous relationship. Well, no shit, sherlock! Ogling women and porn, cheating, and BEATING YOUR WIFE WITH A BELT signifies a disastrous relationship!!!! For HER! But now he's going to find some woman, and tell her that THIS TIME, he's "going to" be good and do the right things. When hell freezes over, maybe. He's a total fucking psychopath, and he couldn't BE good or DO good if his life depended on it. YOU ARE GOOD. HE IS SHIT.
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
and he loved his x.... what
and he loved his x.... what the fuck is that all about ??? but not me, his wife... i am going to send those pictures to all those women, i swear to god i am going to expose this asshole right now...
ewa
ewa's picture
You shouldn't do this. Just
You shouldn't do this. Just run away from him. There is nothing you can do what will make you feel better. You will feel better only when you will be away from him and able to see everything clearly.
better off
better off's picture
Why would you believe one
Why would you believe one word he says? Of course he didn't love his ex. He doesn't love anyone. He cannot love. He is a narc/psychopath. That's what the fuck it's all about...PSYCHOPATHY. DO NOT DO THAT. DO NOT DO ANYTHING. Rant and rave on here, but DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS MONSTER FOR ONE SECOND. UNDERSTOOD?
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
better off
i'm stone cold sober... can i call you???
better off
better off's picture
I can't do that, fierflie,
I can't do that, fierflie, my family is running around and I have to keep this "discreet" lol.
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture
please do
please do : abqbelly@yahoo.com
better off
better off's picture
I sent you an email.
I sent you an email.