I found out that my mother was also a narrcassist

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#1 Jan 5 - 12PM
serenity1
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I found out that my mother was also a narrcassist

I have been away from my ex for over 2 years it will be 3 years later on this year, While I was learning about the sickness, I realized that my mother also was one, I did not know it before, But it all made sense to me after I looked back on my childhood and the emotional as well physical abuse, You could never win with her and she was always sadistic and sarcastic, I dont remember alot of my childhood because of the abuse, I was put up for adoption at birth, So I have alot of abandonment issues and I suffer complex ptsd, I was also with 2 very abusive men that I had married, I am not trying to have any one feel sorry for me that is not my intention, I know alot of people have had it alot worse off then me, I am just trying to share my story and in hopes of getting some advice, I go to counseling and they say I am bipolar which I take medicine for, I dont want people to judge me or be afraid of me for that PLEASE, I may also be borderline and from what I have read people think that narrcassists and borderlines are both terrible people, I dont know for sure if I am borderline because bipolar people have the same features as bpd, I dont try to manipulate people, I am a very loving sensitive person, I have a very empathatic spirit, When someone is in pain or an animal is suffering I feel there pain, I am not selfish or selfcentered, I am sorry this letter is so long, I dont talk to my mother and I am wondering if the NC should be for them as well as the ex N's in our life, I dont like to talk to her because when ever I do, I feel like a black cloud is over my head and I get depressed, So I avoid it as much as possible, Thank you for reading

Jan 28 - 11PM
IncognitoBurrito
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hey there

Sounds similar. Sometimes NC is necessary. Don't apologize for it.
Jan 5 - 11PM
Dee30
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My 2 stepsisters have bipolar

I understand what u must be going through. My one stepsister has been thru terrible abuse as a child, ive seen firsthand the horrible abuse she went thru. She was ostracized in the family, the black sheep to my parents and she regularly got physically abused. when i think of it all i cry for her, she deserved none of it. she now is severyly bipolar, tried to commit suicide many times, jumped out of a moving car, cut herself many times. I do not blame her for her extreme mood swings at all. As they say the brain does change with extreme trauma and abuse. My other half sister from my mom's side was sexually abused as a child, her father killed 3 people, she never knew him, my mom had alcohol problems back then,my sister has 2 kids now in an extremely toxic relations just diagnosed with bipolar..i think people that don't understand just may not be well informed so are ignorant. I didn't know even what NDP was until 3 years..that explained alot of the madness that I have been thru all these years BTW you seem like your a nice person *hugs*
Jan 6 - 5AM (Reply to #8)
serenity1
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Thank you Dee30

Thank you for your message you wrote, I feel a little better when I know some one understands and knows the difference, I am sorry for your sisters and you and what you have went threw in your family, Abuse does leave alot of mental and emotional scars, anxiety, depression, ptsd, and bipolar amoung other things, It is to bad people would not become more informed on the difference of the too, Thank you again for your kind words and "Hugs"
Jan 5 - 11PM
foreverfun1
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im sorry for what you went

im sorry for what you went through and i think youve done great to get away from your Ns i definitely think theres nothing good to come from talking to your mother either. Ns have nothing but pain to give. i dont think you are bpd at all because it is very different from bipolar. im glad you shared. i suffer from depression and interacting with bad people always makes it worse.
Jan 6 - 5AM (Reply to #6)
serenity1
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Sorry for you pain

Thank you for answering my question about my mother, I will sometimes go a year or longer before I give in and call her, Why I call, I guess I am expecting different results but they are always the same, Nothing changes, So I am going to follow your advice and have n/c with her also, As I mentioned when ever I do talk to her, It is though a black cloud is over my head and then I get really depressed and kick myself in the butt and ask my self why did you give in, How Stupid on my part, I am sorry you suffer from depression also, Depression hurts alot, And I suffer from it on a almost daily basis, I dont take care of myself like I should, I dont get out much, I dont know if I ever want to date again, The list is endless, I want to get better, But I know every one has there own method and time for healing, I do believe these n's in our lifes have ruined our confidence and selfworth, I really have to work on that, Because they both may think that they have broken me, But I will be stong again some day, I am just taking things one day at a time, I hope you start feeling better "Hugs"
Jan 5 - 8PM
serenity1
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People should be able to be honest without being judged

I admitted that I had bipolar disorder and I am sure other people have this illness or know some one with it, It is not a personality disorder it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, I think people get scared of people with disorders but people cant help it and it can be controled as people with narrcisstic disorder can not, I thought I would get more support with asking for advice, But I guess people just get scared off, I am sure there are other people on this group site with disorders also, But they wont come forward, Because society looks at you as a out cast
Jan 9 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
TooSoft
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Bipolar

hi Serenity, one of my best friends is bipolar and is one of the most caring, loving friends I have. It is a difficult disorder to live with, for sure and she's been to hell and back again and I think that's what makes her such a caring, sensitive person. I think there is no comparison between npd and bipolar. NPDs have no empathy and can be cruel and callous. I think you're right to limit your contact with your n mother. If she makes you feel bad, she makes you feel bad. We must look after ourselves first.
Jan 10 - 5AM (Reply to #3)
serenity1
serenity1's picture

TooSoft

Thank you for the kind words, It is not a pleasent illness at all, But I would rather have what I have then to be a N and have no feelings inside and being empty inside, At least I know how to love and cry and have feelings for others, Something he will never have, Which is actualy sad, Because all they do is go threw the motions like they do have feeling on the outside, But on the inside they know they feel nothing, Its all an act to try to show people they feel, They can be very cruel and callous and I also think they pick people with disabilities both mental and physical, They figure they are weaker and so they zone in on them, Pretty pathetic to say the least "Hugs"
Jan 10 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
TooSoft
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Hi! any person that takes

Hi! any person that takes advantage of another's weakness is a bully, Serenity. Narcs like to feel superior to the people in their lives. Gee yeah, I would hate to be narcissistic, what a lonely existence. Keep being you, Serenity (((hugs)))