The first time I’d changed my number, I was bed ridden and I contacted him a week later. Everything went smoothly for 1 whole month before he severely devalued me, called me every name in the book and claimed I was undesirable for two whole days before I changed my number for the second time.
I felt too ashamed to post earlier! I had changed my number a month ago. He pestered me with phone calls at work with promises of an engagement ring, counseling, working on the relationship.
He said he was suicidal over me. I caved! What the hell is wrong with me! I was in denial. I thought maybe he just had Narc tendencies, maybe there was hope.
He lived with his family, they said he claimed to be serious and love me. He kept talking marriage one day, than start a ridiculous fight the next day, than blame me for being emotional over his abuse, than threaten to abandon me all over again.
He works as a truck driver and is out of town 6 days out of the week, in town for only a few more. He’d call me on his trip, state that he missed me daily, than when he came back to town, he is on his way over and we would get into a vicious fight over the phone, he’d threaten to destroy me! These fights usually happened when I’d try to communicate with him and seek reassurance about our relationship.
The fights would take place the whole drive over to my house, he’d threaten to break up with me and say he’d changed his mind, he was going to turn around and drive home. This lead to me bagging for him to see me ( I was love starved after 1 week on no contact). I knew he was playing a sick game, I told myself I needed to detach, but I still reacted emotionally-very powerfully, each and every time. Then for the next few days he would turn off his phone and be available.
He would eventually show up at my place and I would be sobbing and shaking. He would kiss me and act like nothing happned. This last time (I sware I am not a violent person!) I was sobbing and screaming in pain, he stood back, detached emotionally, and started cracking up laughing. After a build up of three years of abuse, I lost it! I punched him in the ear! Hard! I am a small woman, but still, I felt disgusted with my behavior, and although his behavior was disgusting, I should not stoop to his level of ugliness , but I did! I was losing my mind and turning into him!
He called me abusive, psycho, broke up with me and threatened to call the cops and than showed up at my house an hour later, all lovey dovey.
Throughout this time there was strong evidence leading to the fact that he was having a sexual fling with a man, I am not entirely certain, but my intuition was screaming that this was so after the mounting evidence was building up. He would also make wise cracks about bi-sexuality.
Last night he was out with so-called mystery lover boy, who he always kept hidden from me and got defensive when I mentioned his name. He told his parents he was with me! I called his cell several times, and he would not answer. I did not sleep a wink all night! I became so obsessive and crazy, I texted his boy toy ( I snuck into his phone and got his number) and informed him what my Narc told me he really thought of him ( a weak person, didn’t give a damn about him, was never going to talk to him again).
Why oh why did I go psycho??!!! It is a case of temporary insanity because I have good relationships with the rest of the universe!
Anyhow, I phoned his house this morning and told his father that this whole deal about “T” wanting to be in a serious, committed relationship was a lie! I told his father that it would be best if he changed “T”s number, I would change mine, and move on with our lives. (His father pays his phonebill, insurance, you name it!).
I called “T” and he finally answered. He told me this wasn’t going to work out, he would change his number, and I should go looking for that soulmate I have been searching for. He lied again and stated that he was home all night. I demanded to know the truth once and for all about who he has been sneaking around with. His response to his “GF” of three years? It’s none of your business. Fuck off and don’t call me again or I am calling the police!
Wow! I would be greatly relieved if he does go through with changing his number, but I understand that I will have to deal with an avalanche of pain in the aftershock. I will change mine for good measures.
I have to ask, ladies, have you gone temporarily insane in the aftermath of the fallout of the relationship with your Narc? Did you feel crazy and act totally out of character!
If anyone could read my story (My encounter with a Narcisst), I need to break through the denial, was he a Narc?!!! Or am I nuts??!!
You will get acquainted with me in the near future because I will be spending a lot of time on this forum, I need it! Thanks so much!