I need real advice..please don't be too tough...

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Aug 17 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Agreed

He will say yes, and then he will either a) not follow through or b) follow through for a short time then determine that he doesn't need therapy or anger management classes. Either way, it would be short-lived because his only goal right now is to get you back. Promises are so cheap...
Aug 17 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
Amy
Amy's picture

exactly...

Mine had said he would go to therapy. When I brought it up again he said "I CAN'T go to therapy - I just am not programmed for that." They are full of broken promises....
Aug 17 - 9AM
Amy
Amy's picture

hmmm....

So he threatened to hit you, called you ugly, has a history of cheating and promiscuity and you want to take him back???? I can tell you from experience that they DO NOT change. I thought mine did so I accepted his proposal. Guess when the D&D started... 3 days after I accepted! I went through hell trying to please him for the next 3 months before he disappeared. You may say "but he is different that your N" or "he really means it". I said the same. It is not worth it. You are asking permission to go back to him. None of us can give you that. YOU have to decide if you want to risk your mental well-being for this guy... I don't think any of us are going to say "go for it".
Aug 17 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

I second what Amy says

Word for word. He's an addiction, and I totally understand how it feels warm and you want "it" sooo bad...heroin will promise a good high, alcohol can promise to soothe your troubles and make you feel better, but it may kill you in the pursuit. Just because it feels good doesn't mean it's in any way good for you. Try to remember that you're in love with an idea and an image. The real person has been, and will be, cruel to you. Go back and read this as though your best friend wrote it. Imagine it's your best friend, or your sister, that has the history you do with him. What would you tell her to do?