I think I figured a few things out...please let me know what you think
I think I figured a few things out...please let me know what you think
I have been reading "The Betrayal Bonding" book and it's very insightful.
I think I realize now that I had 2 experiences in my past that may not have helped my Trauma Bonding with my N.
My mom told me when I was 10 that my dad was not my real dad and my exhusband told me when my son was 4 months old after 11 years marriage that he was gay. I definitely don't feel trust with anyone and I do feel I as abandoned by my best friend (ex-Husand) that I thought I knew. I trusted him. I thought I handled everything really well. I didn't cry much and packed him up nicely and helped him move out. He wanted to move out immediately and had a boyfriend quickly. I think I shut off internally and was living out of my body or something. I went through all the motions but could not feel. I think it's what I had to do for survival. I don't know.
Now I'm just into this book and reading about Trauma Bonding and it's scaring the crap out of me because this is me! I'm scared to death because it says it can last a lifetime!
I always thought I was doing well. I thought I was handling my life the best I could and I somehow found the worst N my therapist has ever heard of and she's worried for me.
I'm just worried now because I am afraid of my emotions and my addiction. I will keep reading but my question is do the abusers know what they are doing to create trauma bonding and do they have it too? I noticed my N was taking medication for PTSD. Does this mean he has it too and that's why he can't stop either? This is horrible.
Happy1
Yay, Happy!
Happy, I am so amazed at how
Briseis
Happy Girl You are on your way
But Goldie isnt Part of the
Excellent questions!!!
Goldie
Sickofit
Hey Goldie, I will contact
Excellent oost, Goldie...
spinning
Goldie
One more thing with my (gay)