I Was Saved!

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Anonymous (not verified)
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I Was Saved!

When I first joined this forum, I was completely lost. I knew nothing about narcissism. A lady by the named of Barbara always responded to my postings (as well as everyone elses). She had so much knowledge & information to share. She didn't always tell me what I wanted to hear & she sometimes was pretty stern with me. But with her guidance, continuous advice of keeping "no contact", & tough love, I can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am today. I can still hear her say,
"They are not human", "Get a tougher lawyer", "Get a counselor that gets it about Ns/Ps", "Absolute no contact".

Barbara didn't read or write a book about N/P's, she & Narcnarc LIVED IT! For them, I am truly thankful that they shared their experience & advice with all of us. It saddens me that you new ladies will not get the opportunity to know these two wonderful ladies & share with them your stories cos you would have learned more than you could have ever learned from anyone else on this board.

I have seen some pretty nasty and slanderous things posted here about Barbara... and they remain. Anything bad about the board owner, however, disappears almost immediately. Anyone who has anything bad to say about Barbara or NarcNarc seems to have the board owner's ear; even if it is not true.

Lisa forget's she said this about NarcNarc:
"narcnarc
Wed, 06/09/2010 - 12:45 — Lisa E. Scott
I find your posts extremely negative and triggering. You are very fatalistic in everything you say. Why are you here if you don't want to get well? It sounds to me like you have given up. I hope that's not the case, but if that's where you're at right now, please don't bring everyone else on the board down into your negative way of thinking.

We're trying to improve our lives and make things happen for ourselves. I am NOT dead yet and I refuse to give up on my life. You speak as if yours is already over. I'm sorry, but that's a choice you're making for yourself and you have no right to tell others who are trying to take control of their life that they're nuts.

As I asked yesterday, if something someone says doesn't resonate with you, simply avoid commenting on it. You do not need to criticize it relentlessly. It may not work for you, but that doesn't mean it might not help someone else."

Does Lisa have any clue what NarcNarc has been through? the beatings? That's she's severely disabled with bad PTSD? That's no choice! That's this poor woman's reality! But Lisa can't handle it so she just banned her.

No where online have I seen Barbara say a BAD WORD about this board, its owner or anyone else. It's all heresay from you guys and Lisa. Probably because Barbara's got ethics. And 2 psychologists who were members here were accused of not being PhDs and made fun of. Another 2 people with ethics that were literally bullied off this board. This is no longer a place of healing - but a place to feed another person's denial and gossip.

You are all dead wrong about Barbara being harsh. This is the internet and you completely misinterpreted and added intentions where there were none. Barbara is deeply concerned and passionate about helping victims and this has been lost in your translations.

I would not be free from my N/P if these two ladies had not given me the tools. Through the persistent nudge from Barbara, I went and hired a tougher lawyer & my exN/P signed his rights over, my dd has a good counselor -- because of Barbara... Thanks to GOD: Barbara, Narcnarc & all the wonderful ladies that cared enough to give advice... I am
truly saved and so is my child & I GET IT NOW.

My advice to you is... Go somewhere where people will be REAL with you. Stop hoping for the impossible! Stop wasting your life! It's not going to happen...

TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
one last thing...
I saw nowhere that Barbara called anyone the 'head narc in charge.' Ever. EVER. However, this site is full of incomplete pieces of imformation and some of the nastiest stuff about Barbara. It's shameful considering the amount of time & energy Barbara tried to put in here and how she was treated. Because of malicious lies told about Barbara - that were believed - she was banned... make no mistake - she was banned. "who cares?" You are putting tone & meaning on that she never meant. I know she feels "who cares" what he says/ does. Worry about YOU. Stop spending time trying to figure HIM out. Barbara didn't leave of her 'own free will.' It was made impossible for her to stay. To save her integrity and her passion to help victims, she left. Barbara has a blog: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com I think it's 6-7 years old?
sarahb
sarahb's picture
if you would read closely
If you would read my message more closely, you will see that I stated that Barbara had the statement up on FB and then removed it - which is good that she thought better of it, but she did post it. Honestly, why would I lie about that? What would I gain by lying?
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
This will be my last post...
sarahb - how convenient 'she said it but then removed it' - you people are putting words and actions in the mouth of someone who isn't even here to defend yourself gain - why you'd gain the eternal love of Lisa... who lets people bash Barbara with abandon and NO PROOF. That's what. No need to post a response unless its for each other cos I won't be reading. Good luck to you all & I hope that you will someday "get it" cos you & your children deserve soo much more... Signing off...
dysenchanted
dysenchanted's picture
Buh-bye
I really don't understand this.Anyone who feels that this forum is of no value is free to stay away...right? I enjoyed Barbara's no crap attitude .I can also see how it could have not worked for some people. But Barbara was passionate about helping victims and this forum's purposely turned that into her being some sort of bully. You are all wrong. Barbara was banne and was never allowed to give an explanation and no good byes. I'm sure she had her reasons. I think it's time to move on. I'm sure Barbara still answers her personal email,and is available to anyone who would like to contact her. There's 2 sides to every story people. one2one4victims@gmail.com
baddream
baddream's picture
Speak for Yourself
This forum is a place of support for many. We can speak freely while respecting each other's different approaches and opinions. There are different ways to slay a dragon. I am glad you found an approach that worked for you while you were here. I hope others on the forum get to that point in their healing when they are ready. If you continue to have problems with this forum, then go elsewhere. This is a place of healing, not a forum for devisiveness and negative comments about the person who owns it.
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture
I cant believe this diolague
I cant believe this diolague is still going on and this post just seems to be a format to continue the issues that have been resolved. Rightly or wrongly they have been resolved. We have all agreed to let it go and move on without holding any resentment or anger at anybody. Its been a good agreement becasue we have been able to get on with the 'real' conversations tabout our dificuilt situations. I think I can speak for many woman who find this site helpful and supportive still as it was then too. I haven't seen the slanderous things about B. But I think both parties took a good knocking by some people who didnt really get it. Its fair to say that it was unfortunate and sad but the fact remains that this is Lisa's web site and thus it seems like its weird to still be suggesting that we should not listen to her or NOT trust her. I am confused by this message too. Why are you telling people to go elsewhere. It seems bit weird to tell us to go elsewhere, when it works for so many of us to be here sharing what ever we feel we are safe to do so? I am very glad that the site has helped you and that B helped you in that particular circumstance. I would say that this site has also helped me in particular circumstances too and it was the kind sensetive responses to my messages from lots of different woman here that helped me most. I have felt this place to be a very real and supportive place and if I felt that anyone was untrustworthy or dangerous I would leave but until then I have only been greeted with kindness and understanding. and its not like we cant get more detailed academic/researched advice from other sites if we choose to. We are not bound to this site as out only source of information we have, if we want other data or support advice we can look elsewhere. This site is not for counslling or therapy but to share and listen and be heard and supported. (a break from the narc exposure we have all suffered) I think each of us has a different story/situation and a different way to manage it and one size does not fit all. This site manages all the diversity of such a massice subject and has much to offer to help people to face the truth and get support to get out when they can however they can.
GIJ
GIJ's picture
Getting what you need is awesome
I have to agree that hearing / reading NO CONTACT was an important and timely lifeline for me. Followed by THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY for deprogramming. I very much appreciate Barbara and the time she took to post links sending me in the right direction. I read each of her posts and answers to others. I wouldn't be where I am today, or on the path of healing. It is important to note - I sought answers, I received them and took immediate action. It is not enough to just read. Acting on the info is important. In those moments of confusion, it is necessary to have a firm presence you can rely on to get grounded and focused. Let's face it, being messed with IS confusing. I needed the repetition until I regained balance in my thinking on my own. I needed help and information and that is what I got. I needed to wake up and smell the coffee. I needed strong coffee!! I think back to the phrase, "Take what you like and leave the rest." We all have multiple options in life and healing from these freaks. Keep seeking what works for you and what brings YOU life again.
Steph
Steph's picture
TexN
happy that you are doing well and have been saved. The bad comments made about the board owner still remain here as well. Barbara didn't make bad comments, you are right. Narcnarc made several. Many people were responsive to Barbara's methods, and that's great. Many did not find her helpful, and that's ok too. Everyone is unique. I personally don't find the people on here in denial or posting gossip as you say. Promoting no contact and being supportive of one another is still in full effect. Your message is confusing to me. There are still people here that have ethics as well. Please allow the rest of us to continue in our own recovery peacefully. I do not want to come across as rude, I just think this topic has been OVERDONE and I think I speak for many, it is getting tiring and ridiculous. The last few weeks have been absent of drama and focused on healing and learning and being supportive. I, and I am presuming everyone else here, would like it to stay that way. We are all intelligent women here and those of us that are here are here because we DO find it helpful. Sorry that you no longer do. My advice to you would be to go where it does work for you. take care.
sarahb
sarahb's picture
glad you are doing well
I am glad you are doing well. Actually, Barbara did call Lisa "the head narc in charge" and make other statements on her on her facebook page - she has since removed them. Seems like you would be happy on Barbara's FB page, it is One2One4Victims.
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture
Confusing Post
Personally, I loved NarcNarc and Barbara. Both ladies helped me immensely. Things change and you can always get in touch with Barbara via email or on Facebook as sarahb mentioned. I thought this subject was put to bed? Still like this forum. And Barbara is available, just at another place.