If I'm so much better than him, <strong>why aren't I with him?!</strong>
If I'm so much better than him, <strong>why aren't I with him?!</strong>
Have you seen the movie "Clueless"? There's a scene where a girl is comforting a friend who has just been dumped. The girl tells her friend that she's better off and way too good for the guy, to which her friend wails,
If I'm so much better than him, why aren't I with him?!
I love that scene. We all think that at one point, don't we? We look at the woman our ex cheated with or followed us with and ask ourselves what she has that we don't. We pick her apart, creating a mental balance sheet of all the ways we're better than she is and vice versa. We don't feel better after doing this, regardless of which of us comes out on top.
The problem with this dysfunctional little exercise is that we're evaluating the NW based upon our standards. The narcissist is working with an entirely different scale. You may well be smarter, more beautiful, or more successful than she is, but that only earns you points if the narcissist rates those qualities highly. Often, they don't.
If your ex was passive aggressive, he'll give points for tolerating his lack of emotional connection. If he was an alpha male, points go to the doormat. If he was a waif, he's looking for mommy. Now, take another look at your scale. Does it grant high points to controlling children with no emotional intelligence? Hmmm...
Narcissists seek out the best and brightest. But make no mistake; they don't stay with them. Long term, a narcissist can't be with someone who shines more brightly than he does. To be with a narcissist for any length of time, you need to dim your light a helluva lot.
My scale doesn't give any points for a man who would want me to do that.
Awesome!
Yes!
Great, Ally! And funny, too!
much needed!!
simple and oh so true...
Aceonelady
ally2375
"If I'm so much better than