Deleting content at request of forum member. If I delete without replacing text here, the whole thread will be lost so I don't want to do that. Thx, Lisa
Rainbow is right, women are shiny objects and toys just like the motorcycles and ATVs. An accessory even.
Cassia... let's say you were right for a second, and we could wave a magic wand and make you look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, it wouldn't make any difference anyway. Then he would tell you he's always preferred blondes. If only you had blonde hair... tsk tsk.
Wouldn't it be great to be as beautiful as Halle Berry? I saw a woman on Dr Phil or something one time that was obsessed with plastic surgery and just felt like all would be well if she could look like Halle Berry. I thought it was odd that no one brought up that the beautiful Halle Berry has had a succession of abusive men in her life. Being beautiful will not make you loved and protected from abuse.
Anyway, I'm sure you're quite lovely anyway. :-) If you were so unattractive to him, what was he doing with you?
BUT BUT BUT, of course this isn't the real problem, the real problem as you said, is caring about this lowlife's opinion of you. I think therapy is very important to getting out of this loop, and finding your self-worth again (or maybe for the first time) independent of any other person. If you have a therapist that isn't addressing that, then find another one.
When my narc went of last summer he had a fling with this poor young girl , he d&d her in record time and she quite understandbly had major trauma over it all . Having said that she was compleatly diffrnet from me (he asked her to shave her head which she did just before the d&d )Oh heck it has nothing to do with looks , its to do with what they can suck out of you , it was our empathy they wanted our love which they cant feel , like our James said this morning .They know they are dificient they know they lack emotion , they latch on to us so they can feel whole , except they distroy everything that comes their way . Im sure you are beautiful in every way , the narcs dont go for the weak, they only want the best because in their deluded brain they think they deserve the best ...
These are interesting comments. My narc "fell in love with me" when I had a pixie haircut. He later told me he loved my hair long (I had grown it out), and that I'd looked "butch" with short hair (couldn't get enough of it when it was short though). What he really liked, I think, was pulling my long hair. He would actually wrap it around his hand to get a better grip, and pull until he heard it rip out. Sick.
Anyway, for no particular reason--it was kind of dry and just hard to manage, and I am known for extremes with hair--I cut it all off again a few days ago, and he texted me, "Bad hair day, huh?" I ignored him. He then texted me (I wasn't able to block him), "Can I come over later and can you wear what you wore the first time I came over?" Sick freak. Then again, "Why did you cut all your hair off?" and then "Thanks a lot." ??????????
NC is so odd. I don't even know what he's talking about anymore. I mean, at all!
Just remember that you WERE his type at some point. Also remember that you ARE pretty and the best of the best. Have you read the blog that talks about why the Ns chose us? You got picked because you are the best of the best. You made him look good. He wouldnt have picked someone that he didnt have attractive or someone that would make him look bad to other people.
I know that I was just an object for my xn to show off. He would always want me all dressed up. I remember for his mother's bday I had to meet his whole family. He told me that I HAD to wear a dress and heels. I must have tried on 15 dresses for him before he found one that he liked. And guess what? I was the most dressed up out of everyone. He would also always want me on the back of his street bike in a dress and heels or little tiny shorts (safe huh?). And when I was on the back of his quad or dirt bike he would always pass people doing wheelies with me on the back and would want me to seem surprised and excited even though I knew it was coming. I was just a nice new fun shiny object to him.
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
sadly, that is what my daughter is to my XN, her father. He wants her to wear dresses & heels--she is a jeans & t-shirt girl. I allow her to express her ideas & we discuss things. If I want her to wear a dress, make her part of the process. He just yells.
When she returned to my home from a week-long trip with him, she wet her bed that night.
I don't know how old your daughter is but aceonelady is right, please please talk to your daughter and if she insists there is nothing wrong then somehow get her to talk to someone else. She may not want to tell you anything because she thinks she is protecting you, or worse, afraid of him. If he is an N then she is in danger and wetting the bed is a big big warning sign. Please, I know that from experience!! Seems a strange attitude for him to be dictating how she dresses too. Most normal Dad's don't seem to want their daughters dressing UP.
Just want to back up what everyone else is saying: that is very creepy that your daughter's dad wants her to wear dresses and heels. My ex husband has a heart attack if our daughter wants to wear lip gloss or anything but gym shoes. He thinks she'll be pregnant next week. The fact that she is wetting her bed--even once--is very scary. Sounds like something very bad may be going on.
Please talk to your daughter ,i do not know what type of girl she is extravert or introvert and how old she is,but if she is wetting her bed after visiting him is something very wrong...is not a good sign at all !Please let her talk to somebody like a doctor or a psychologist,i am sorry if my english is not so good...
Beautiful
Rainbow is right, women are
When my narc went of last
Our looks
Objects
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
objects
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Nevergoback
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Aceonelady