I'm ready to go NC--please help me through this :=(

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Apr 11 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
michele115 (not verified)
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Diedre...

I have a very silly silly question... If you are going NC..that means no talking and no peeking on FB... How by chance do you belive you will become aware of his changed status? hmmmmm
Apr 11 - 10PM (Reply to #12)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

Hey...real quick...what do you mean...'no talking?' lol To him you mean? That will not be happening. I'm truly done. I don't like cheaters. I think something inside me snapped tonight, when he taunted me about appearing single. I thought...this man is going to cheat on me someday. And that was it. I won't stand for cheating. I stood for abuse. Sad as that sounds. And I won't ever again. But, not cheating. And to me...it would eventually lead there. If someone would argue with me over changing his FB status...I don't care if we broke up a few days ago...we are back together now...(were ;) ) you change it back out of respect. So, to argue with me about it...showed...maybe he was getting some interested women. And seriously? I won't ever ever ever compete with another woman. EVER! lol And if a man wants to have other women after him while with me? I will not be in his life. His ex wife had contacted him when a pic of us was his FB pic. She made a deragatory comment about me on her FB page. (FB is such a childish thing to me) He went onto her page and saw what she wrote. And felt the need to tell me this?? *eye roll* Anyways...she emailed him...and asked him to check out her FB page. He went and did as she asked...not once, but twice she asked. She was posing with some guy. I told him...''I will say this once. If you bring another woman into my life...I'm out. I don't do jealous. If you want another woman...have at it. But, I won't ever compete.'' Strange, how I'm so strong with some things. But I tolerated abuse??? Hmmm. Needless to say, he blocked her from his email, and never mentioned her name again. But, I remember thinking to myself...that I didn't like that he looked not once, but twice. Why? And why tell me? We know the answer. It's a rhetorical question, ladies! hahaha :P Have a blessed night, all.
Apr 11 - 11PM (Reply to #13)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

Odds are very high he will cheat...they hunt for supply and recycle... You are going to be so much better off without him...
Apr 11 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

The good friend that is his

The good friend that is his too...has been telling me about his status. Which is how I knew he changed it back to single to begin with. I no longer care about his status. The good news is...my friend said if I get curious, and wish to activate my page and check out his...he only has his pic, and status. You have to be his friend to see his wall, etc. Thank God! I won't be tempted then. :=) The thing that concerns me is the website we belong to. He is all over my profile, saying sweet things...but I'm not logging in there for a while. Not because of him...but, I just want to give myself some space from there. Once I log in, all of his comments will be removed. I looked at his profile tonight, I admit. Not because of any particular reason, but because I watched these videos of him...lifting weights. And when he was done, I noticed he would look around the room, looking to see who noticed him. It was sad to watch. For the first time, I noticed that. I thought he was a good man. I used to tell him so. He loved that I'd say that. 'Dee, you make me want to be a better man. I know I can be a prick, but you're gonna help me.' Makes me sad. But, he's not my patient. I can't help him. I have to help myself. I am a mom, and need to be sane for my kids. Seriously. I have allowed this relationship to distract me from them. From life. From friends. From finishing workouts. I'm done. Thanks for listening and helping me!!! {{{hugs}}}}
Apr 11 - 11PM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

"You make me want to be a better man." Yes his motivation changes with the wind...RED FLAG...his motivation for being a better man should have been with him to begin with...not on the motivation of "scoring" with sweet nothings. These guys know by nature we as women are nurturers, we like to fix things, troubleshoot...mend...they know that... and they give us those lines... dont belive the hype... You are doing the right thing.
Apr 12 - 7AM (Reply to #8)
Playedwithfire
Playedwithfire's picture

You make me want to be a better man...

I got that line too from a guy i briefly dated. He had other red flags, but seriously, what does that really mean? I do like your analogy Michele. I kept thinking, uhm so what the hell were you like before, or what would your ex-wife have to say about you.

Playedwithfire

Apr 12 - 10AM (Reply to #9)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Playedwithfire

I must say I think I have learned how to listen... ANY guy tells me I 'inspire' him to be a better man...I'm RUNNING the other way. I need a man that is the BEST he can be because that is the way he lives his life...those are his natural instinctive morals and values.... Hugs!
Apr 12 - 11AM (Reply to #10)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

Another thing to notice when

Another thing to notice when beginning a relationship with anyone. Watch how they treat their parents...and others. This guy got in fights...constantly. Not fist fights, although he told me if anyone ever touches me, they're getting beat to a pulp. He told a story of beating someone with a bat for touching one of his past gf's butts at a bar. But, he was always removing people from FB he would say. He was always starting e-fights on the website we belong to. He always liked fighting with me. On some level--the guy liked to argue. Sometimes, I felt like I was in high school with him. Like he was smart...witty...charming...but very immature.
Apr 12 - 11AM (Reply to #11)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

AND in addition

Check out the family dynamics in general...the apple does not fall far from the tree... Is the family framented? Are there siblings that want nothing to do with him/her? Do the parents want him/her to stay away? Has he said, he hasn't spoken to them in ten years... ALL CLUES....
Apr 12 - 5AM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

YEP! Thank you michele for

YEP! Thank you michele for everything! and for your support, everyone!!! {{hugs}}