I'm so stupid, I pretty much hate myself right now

I broke and called him, he ignored me and I called like four or five times. Then I texted him and talked crap to him. He is still blocked. I am desperate to stop this but I feel like I can't! I'm crying right now wanting to just hide in my bed and sleep. What is wrong with me? Why can't I do this ? I feel so weak and rejected now. I can't take this addiction any more... I'm so dumb. All this great advice and I can't even listen. I want to do it so bad. How can I stop this!!!!!