I'm a wreck (major setback to my recovery) - help me please

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Nov 25 - 7PM (Reply to #19)
a65703
a65703's picture

NC, Knowledge and a great

NC, Knowledge and a great support group (here) are the three things that the doctor ordered! I think I will get Lisa's book! It's the least I can do - this forum and website has literally and figuratively saved my life and sanity...
Nov 25 - 6PM
empath
empath's picture

major breakthrough

Narcs are master thespians. Facebook is the perfect medium for creating an illusion...I can assure you, he is full of shit and is still the same miserwble bastwrd you made the wise decisionto leave. Whether he is with OW or not, that doesn't change that you decided to leave wnd go NC. Stick to your wise decision, and let go of his future. I promise you his future is not pretty, as he will always be disordered. The OW's future is...exactly what yours is now. The only difference between you and her, is the phase of the Narc cycle you're in...she's in the idealization phase, and inevitably will be devalued and discarded...yet not until the N has used her up, and used her as a means if revenge towards you. Please keep reading here, please know the OW is insignificant. Please know that you cannot qnd will not take that N back no matter what, because you value yourself too much now...so it is even more irrelevant to be upset by his new relationshit. Narcs don't change, and supply is supply is supply. Soon she will wind up on the Island of Broken Toys to. Google Alexandra Nouri... she has two amazing books that are very inexpensive...like $4 and $5 if you have q Kindle or the free Kindle app for your phone, tablet, or PC. Highly recommend both of her books. She would say thank God he has new supply because that means he is too busy messing up someone else to be bothered messing with us! Don,t let this get to you...it is all fakery, all an act. Please remember why you went NC and give yourself the credit you deserve for having made the best decisionfor yourself.
Nov 25 - 6PM (Reply to #11)
a65703
a65703's picture

Wow, empath I really needed

Wow, empath I really needed to read what you wrote. I have been crying my eyes out....it's like I can't catch a break. Everytime I feel like I made a step forward or progress, its two steps back. He is using his Facebook as an illusion and shoving this new girl in everyone's faces. He is really HAPPY or what? He is doing everything he didn't do with me and his mom and dad on Facebook are his cheerleaders. I swear, now I know why he is a Narcissist. THEY MADE HIM THAT WAY. I cut all ties with him, I am proud of myself for doing that much. I'm never going to speak to him again that's for sure. Just seeing the PROOF, it hurts me so much. Everyone has been telling me about these pictures on Facebook but I didn't want to look, I wasn't ready. Even after seeing them, I'm still not ready.... Part of me wants to see how my "replacement" pans out... I'm especially hard on myself, I keep thinking she is the "one" and they are going to get married and live happily ever after... denying all odds and every N bone in his body. Why do I (we) think this way....?
Nov 25 - 11PM (Reply to #14)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

We think this way because we

We think this way because we believed the lies. The Narc lies, cheats, and steals from us. This is how they operate. They don't have the ability to do otherwise. They cannot share, love, give, and nourish. Impossible for them. Period. The new one will finally get it through her head that he is disordered, and it will not be good for them either. He will contact you or anohter previous source of supply unless he can keep moving forward. The one thing they cannot do is be alone...ever. They need the energy, which is why they will even contact someone they really really hurt, because their need is greater to them than anything they may have done to us. We, being human, sometimes doubt our ability to judge fairly. We can sometimes have cogdiss and maybe think we acted hastily or were too umfair with them. But the truth is with a narc it doesn't matter, they will be narcs regardless of how we act. Give yourself a break if you can and take care to go through the process of grieving and healing, taking as long as you need to get better. Jumping around into more chaos with others will just retard the process. You did nothing wrong except get hooked on a narc. It has happened to every single member on here a countless more who have no idea what they are dealing with. At least we have a plan and a course of action. We make friends here who help us get better. Stay close! ds
Nov 26 - 12AM (Reply to #15)
a65703
a65703's picture

My N Ex's queen bee, Ex

My N Ex's queen bee, Ex girlfriend will always have that role - NOT ME. I exposed him and honestly thing he is gone for good. He knows I won't ever supply him with a molecule of NS. Good riddance. She and every other ignorant female can have him.... but his true colors eventually show - its glaringly obvious to those not involved with the N from the get-go, who want to roll their eyes at him and throw up from his disgusting propaganda and lies he spews out of his mouth. Now to me it's glaringly obvious... most of the time. I still have my weak moments, bouts of anger and despair but now I can no longer deny the truth right in front my face. Definitely with you on the cognitive dissonance - never really understood it until I read Lisa's book. Or felt it but never had the proper term!!
Nov 25 - 6PM (Reply to #12)
Layla
Layla's picture

I married mine and he tortured me!!!

Marriage means SHIT to these ABUSERS! Mine drugged and raped me and almost strangled me to death- he did this as my HUSBAND! DISGUSTING! I am not telling you this so you feel sorry for me- I am a WINNER and a SURVIVOR- I am telling you this because these pukes are FUKKED UP! BELIEVE THIS!!! love~ Layla
Nov 25 - 7PM (Reply to #13)
a65703
a65703's picture

Yes we are SURVIVORS,

Yes we are SURVIVORS, stronger and better than these pathetic sub-humans. It's just SO AMAZING, how they fool us, and continue to fool us. I keep thinking he is actually a person with feelings and a heart. It's so unfathomable how you can't be? THEY ARE SUCH GOOD ACTORS. It seems so juvenile of me to equate marriage = happiness or success. All I know, is that I am so happy I will never have to see him again in real life or online, most importantly!
Nov 25 - 6PM
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

If you ever let him know it

If you ever let him know it bothered you that he had his status set to "single" while you were dating him, then THAT'S why he refused to change it...he knew it bothered you...and ps? He knows it will REALLY bother you now that he's changed it to "in a relationship"...it's all about the mind fuck with these guys...
Nov 25 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
a65703
a65703's picture

The last time I spoke and

The last time I spoke and will ever speak to him - I said it KILLED me that you never changed your relationship status the whole time we were together. I told him every fault that I felt he had in that conversation... and how awful he treated me in our relationship. I know he won't speak to me again - nor I speak to him - that bridge is BURNT. Ugh..... I hate him and his new girlfriend so much.
Nov 25 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

For all you know, he has the

For all you know, he has the password to his dad's account and he posted that shit himself...that's how devious and sneaky they really are.
Nov 27 - 7AM (Reply to #8)
EiPuff (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Brilliant

Bell went off in my head when I read your post. That seems a lot more likely than parents of an adult behaving that way. He probably set up their accounts for them. Nice work, Syren66!!!
Nov 25 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Layla
Layla's picture

AMEN Syren!

Good call! I thought the SAME thing! These clowns are huge bullshit artists.......... love~ Layla
Nov 26 - 3AM (Reply to #4)
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Me too

I thought it was odd that his father had posted something along those lines. Wouldn't dream of doing that on my son's page. He would hit the roof in any case. Really can't understand why some people wish to air their laundry so publicly. Status - check Pictures - check Personal comments - uncheck Just my opinion. Dee x
Nov 26 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
a65703
a65703's picture

His mom and dad are his

His mom and dad are his personal CHEERLEADERS on facebook and in real life. Telling he is WONDERFUL, HANDSOME and how he is going to be a STAR. It puzzles me that his father said that too but he is a piece of work. He cheats on his wife by talking to his ex-wife every night outside on the phone at midnight. LIKE FATHER LIKE SON.....!!! COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL FAMILY living in their "richness" and "perfection"
Nov 26 - 10AM (Reply to #6)
uk lady
uk lady's picture

It did cross my mind that..

his father might be a N too. And there you go and prove it by telling us about the father's NS. God these men want locking up but then, maybe that's too good for them. You do know that you are better off out of his life to save you any future anguish. Keep strong. Dee x
Nov 26 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
a65703
a65703's picture

Yep, his father not only

Yep, his father not only emotionally cheats being supplied by his ex-wife, but he also has cheated physically going to see strippers and getting "services" - witnessed and told to me by his son, my N ex. All I know is that, what kind of role model is he? This is where he learned his "morals" or lack of morals from..... I am BETTER off out of this family's life - they are so fake and two-faced. I dodged a bullet.... there are plenty of other fish in the sea that are not N's for me and all of us! It staggers me how many victims/survivors post here and I see an influx of new members by the week! I feel bad for the ones who never become educated, find this forum or get help - they probably think or are going crazy from these soulless men!!!