Is it possible that the N loves but just doesn't know how to show it?
Is it possible that the N loves but just doesn't know how to show it?
I don't have much time right now to explain what has been happening, but I will. I've been having a hard time, and unclear as to why I have been having such a hard time moving forward, and didn't know how to frame my question to the board. But it just came to me: I am still wondering if the N does in fact love me and want the relationship, but doesn't know how to show it because he acts on impulse and doesn't think.
I know that that in itself is enough for me not to be with him. But the thing that keeps lingering in my mind is that he does loves me.
Just a quick reason why this has come up: I haven't experienced the D&D ... yet. BUT he has cheated on my with many other women. All within the last 5 months. And I slowly found out about them - he never came clean. I don't know if I believe that there were more before that - so sometimes I feel like those episodes were due to other factors - moving to a new country, he and I weren't doing well, he was starting a new job.
Now that doesn't excuse his behavior - it's still ludacris. And I do think he is a narc.
But he has been fighting to hang onto me for the pat 5 months as well. He has tried and I just couldn't give him a chance because I was so hurt. I would step towards him a little and then run away.
The thing that has been nagging me is that I miss him. I do. And I know that I am protecting myself. But the fact that I haven't experienced the final D&D keeps me lingering and wondering if maybe...it won't end like that. It's like I'm not convinced - even though all signs that he's a N is there.
Is it possible that he does love me (I just can't believe that after outing him to his family he still wants me) and just doesn't know how to act in a loving responsible way?
I mean, if the answer is yes, I do understand that still doesn't mean I should be with him. But I guess wondering this over and over again and seeing him beg for me for so long and after I have done everything I could think of to push him away he is still there. His persistence is getting to me. And I wonder if I need to experience the full D&D and fall out before I get it? I really don't want to and don't know if I can handle it...
Am I just really confused and in a normal stage of processing this?
dazed and seeking
UPDATE - MORE EMAILS FROM HIM
dazed
dazed, I so feel
spinning
Spinning, That's a relief to
Love????
ShaynasMommy, Thanks for
I will tell
victimnomore
victimnomore, I am sorry you
OK-
I think I am seriously stuck
ABC, thanks for the link. It
exactly ABC
I also left on my own
Love