I've taken a little step backwards

I know what I have to do, but I just wanted to tell someone.My x and me split up at the end of April.It's been a major hard journey,but I'm kinda getting there.I'd gone no contact until the 30th of last month when finishing my shift at work I responde to a 'hello'.I didn't even realise it was him at first and when I did I walked away,but he called me back to ask how I was.I find it very hard to pretend I don't care,one thing I hold very dear and am proud of myself for is that I am honest and genuine-so I told him that I was sorry for the way things had worked out and gave him a hug as sort of a final goodbye and to give myself closure.I said exactly what I meant.If I could wave a magic wand and change things I would, but I know very well that I can't.I don't hate my x,I feel empathy for him because of the way he is and although I love him it does not mean I'm going to get back with him.
The story does not end there though I'm afraid.After seeing him again at work(last Thursday) and not knowing what to do I ignored him.Not long after, I was walking home from work and as I got near to my house there he was walking towards me asking to talk.I sat in his car for an hour-I cried and later felt I'd let myself down because I'd blurted out after trying to hold it back that I loved him and if things were different I would have married him,had his children and been with him forever,but that was never going to happen.It messed me up for a few days-prevoking old wounds,but after seeing my counsellor I felt much better.Before I got out of the car he told me that he would fb me,I told him he was blocked and he said he had an old account which he would message me from.Why I didn't say not to ,I don't know.After I knew I had to block him again,but still haven't.I know I'm going to,but it's like I wanted to hear what he had to say.I knew I wouldn't believe what he said,it's almost like it feels nice just to hear those things even if I know they're not true.
Then today he asked to meet me and I did.I was totally honest and told him what I felt,but said there was no way it would ever work.He agreed and said he knew what I was saying was right,but before he dropped me back home said he didn't know how it could work,but believes there must be a way and that he would message me on fb.I thought I had made it clear,but obviously not.He did message me and said that it was nice to see me,though emotional and that he loved me.I'm just trying to find the courage and tell him that it can never happen and then block him.I know that will happen,but I'm finding it hard because it's like I want to hear what he's got to say first.I know many of you guys will be saying he doesn't desereve an explanation of any kind and to just block him without saying anything,but that made me feel shitty enough going no contact before without a word to him bcause it goes against who I am.I do what i say I'm going to do,but sometimes it takes me a while.I feel strongly that I won't get back with him, but can't help thinking there must be a seed of doubt for me to be posting thisxxxx