Jennifer's story

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#1 Aug 9 - 1AM
jelyma
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Jennifer's story

My story began 12 years ago. I was traveling the world and living in the UK for a few years. I met him and was dazzled by him. He was so fun to be with and everyone said what a great couple we made. I was 28 and not looking to settle down yet. It was adventure I wanted and I sure did get one just not a nice one. We were married two years later and one year later had our daughter.

He was so fun, charming, handsome and I fell for it all. He told me all about his hard childhood and I wanted to be there for him. I felt like he was there for me. It all started to unravel when I got pregnant. He was very nervous about it and eventually left me for another woman. I should have been happy and in retrospect I should have left then! But all the charm came back and I took him back just before she was born. I wanted my child to have her father in her life and I was not wanting to be a single mom. I was lured into an idea of a family with him and that he wanted it.

He goes through money like he is a millionaire! Reality is I scraped the barrel working part time, selling our belongings, borrowing from family. He would spend our rent money and then claim it must be a bank error. At this point he was regularly coming home late, drinking a lot.

When it came time to change my immigration status we decided to move back to Canada. At first it was a great idea then it turned very bad. We had to live with my parents until his immigration was finalized. Three months turned into one year. It was a horrible time. He was rude to my family even though they were paying for him at the time. I now know it is because he wasn't being validated. He had a job that took all of his time now because they did.

When we moved into our own place it seemed to be going well. Just the usual--everything was my fault, drinking all night, no money for food, everyone else loves him so much... That was my normal. I was sure that this would be the time he would just come to his senses and that it would all be like the beginning. Then it got much worse.

I was managing a store which was being closed. I got a big bonus at the end and would unemployed for three weeks between jobs. He got a new job at the same time and had to train in another city. He spent my entire bonus on women, parties, hotel rooms. Never once seeing this as wrong. We needed that money to survive--food, rent, bills. He now started using credit cards and maxed them in a hurry, bank overdrafts maxed, unpaid parking tickets, and was even driving without insurance. It was the first time I actually thought this isn't right!

The late night texts started again and I suspected he had an affair with at least two women. Of course he denied it all and somehow turned it into my paranoia. He was always watching porn on the computer and treated me like I was one of those images. I told him more than once that he should just leave and go with these women. Then it was always put to me that he loved his family more that anything. He said he needed help but just didn't know how to do it.

I told him I was leaving and was serious about it. He got sick at that time and at first he really was. Then it dragged out to being 8 months with no work and he somehow managed to fill out his unemployment benefit wrong. He didn't bring in a dime into the house for all of that time. I later found out that apart from the first three weeks he was no longer sick. He actually made up doctor's appointments. He was even taken to the hospital for a test and faked that too! I told him he had one month to get a job or get out. He miraculously found one in three days. At this time I started my escape. I took my name off bank accounts shared, paid off our loan on my own, looked for a new home.

That was 4 months ago. The last three of which were the worst. I was nothing to him. I stopped seeing him a wonderful. I woke up to the reality of my life. I was being played as a fool. I had ceased to be a person. I was his toy. I had lost all my friends and nearly alienated my family just for him. My daughter was yelling at him to be responsible. I was so upset that she was so angry at him that I said never again! I called about an apartment and signed the lease that night. I told him a week later that we were leaving.

I told him that I had found an apartment and all he could say was good where was it? He thought he was going too. I said I have no future as long as he is around. He cried but I held strong. He knew he had lost. It felt so good but so scary. He tried to be dad of the year for those last few days. I took exactly half of the items in the house. He actually was more upset at losing his new sofa than his daughter leaving. It was just sad. He hid in the backyard as my family helped me move. I have had no contact for three weeks other than texts to say he can't make it to see his daughter. I feel free and can now start my healing process.

Aug 12 - 10PM
jelyma
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The week after we left I

Aug 12 - 10AM
Bruisednotbroken
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I agree with Agnes. As my ex

Aug 12 - 8AM
agnesmurphy17
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daughter

Aug 9 - 2AM
evergreen
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Moving on!