Leah's Story

4 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jul 28 - 9PM
donewithbeingused
donewithbeingused's picture

Leah's Story

This is my story...We met while I was just getting out of a bad marriage with an alcoholic and abusive husband. It was at work and he was one of the cutest, most handsome guy I have ever seen. Mr. popular at work. I should have known then as when I told him I was married he said "I will cook a steak for you and your husband." Ironically he ended up doing just that. He flirted with me for over two years, laughed, joked, ate lunch with me and made me feel sorry for him. What a catch I thought, he said his x was mean and took him for all he had and he was almost done paying off his child support as he had two daughters. Said he made more than my soon to be x and he was a meat cutter for 26 years. I ended up leaving my husband for good as he advised he would never treat any woman how I was treated. Well he did far much worse than I was ever treated in my life. It started like a dream, the sex, the romance, the flowers, the wine. All too good to be true. He said he loved me from day one and he knew I would hurt him. He wanted me to move in with him right away and that we needed an apartment. He found us a place, and said it was all paid for us to move in. One day at lunch he said he needed my truck as he did not have a vehicle, but when he returned he left it on empty. He said he had forgotten to fill it. He said due to his great shape he rode a bike to save more money and stay in shape. He also advised that I needed a full time job as he likes strong women that can take care of themselves as he has supported many, but they used him. The apt. never happened as he never paid his part of the deposit a story that he had lost the money. He did this twice false promising me the apt.So I felt sorry and as he said since he supported women in the past and was used. I was determined that I was not going to be one of them so I was going to get the apt. and the money for it too. I did. I got a great paying job and an apt. for us and my two boys. Well he never paid much rent either. Made excuses about buying food and the women that used him. So I said okay, he cooks, he cleans, helps with the boys and the sex is great. Overall he is a keeper. Well I ended up pregnant with my third child while taking birth control. I told him what happened and did not know why he was not at all happy. I then found he too drank a good amount. I later found out he also had three daughters not two as he said because he cheated on his wife years ago and also owed almost thirty thousand dollars in back child support to the various moms. When my son was born and he promised to care for us while I was on maternity but did not pay the rent I found his paycheck was only two hundred dollars a week less than minimum wage with all of what he owed taken out. Not just child support, but IRS attachment s and liens due to unpaid taxes unrelated to child support. I left him and his family was appalled. They hated me and blamed me for throwing him out as he did so much for me. d I had to give him 600 that he did not pay me rent back for his own apt. or else deal with them and they would take me to court. He kept apologizing and said he was afraid to tell me the truth. Said he got into the mess as other women had just used him. Well I took him back slowly as we continued to have an intimate relationship and I felt sorry for him as he was homeless bouncing around with his family as he could not pay his rent. Then to my surprise I was pregnant again. He had surgery, a few months back and this was verified but it failed. One in 1,000. He actually had to have a second surgery. So I was afraid of being alone and needed his help quite frankly despite everything and all of the lies. He begged and pleaded and said he would change and only lied for my own sake as he loved me so much and knew if I knew the truth I would leave him. I lived apart from him with no contact for my entire pregnancy, but when the fourth baby was born I had to work and he showed up in the delivery room when I was at my weakest and said he would be there to help. I had already moved in over my now x-husband on the 2nd floor of the two family home I had left with the agreement if I ever needed a place I could rent upstairs. I had all of these children to raise and not a lot of money. I thought his help and family help would be good overall, and he said he was sorry, but it only got worse. He blamed me for living over my x in the two family home, constantly. He was able to live for cheap and pay all of his thousands of dollars in debt off completely and not pay me child support. He got to know his third daughter that he did not ever meet in 21 years because of me. Both his older daughters had to also move in one at a time as they had their own issues and needed help. Then the real him set in with a clear free paycheck he began to fight and argue and hide money and spend it wastefully. He lied about the hours he worked and where he was. He drank until no tomorrow still being able to get up and go to work. Then he claimed he was unhappy living over my x, but instead of working with me to get us an apt. he refused to help pay childcare so I could work more hours. Instead he purchased a brand new truck of the year for himself that cost more than half a house. I finally had had it again asked and told him to leave. He refused and threatened me. I now have a no contact order. He has not paid me any child support in over 4 months and I am taking him to court for DOR services. It was the worst relationship of my life as I feel all I did was help him and he just hurt me and lied to others. He was mean and abusive and lied to me about wanting to marry me right away once I left my x and also had 30 k in the bank in stocks for us to put down on our own home. When I told him I did not take any part of the house in the divorce he was mad at me and said we would not be getting married. I did not see the signs. He also most recently tried to have my children taken away as he said I was bipolar, and not on my meds and was unfit. I am not bipolar, but told him my mother was. He knew as I figured out if my kids were taken away he would not have to pay for them. His sister was in agreement with her taking them and he would not have to pay her. This is the family I had to deal with and thought she too was my friend. He used everything against me to try to not have to pay support including manipulating his whole family. I am thankful to my x mother in law no children from that marriage as I said no to the home in the divorce and for her to allow me to stay on the second floor with him. I was cheated out of 7 years of my life. I did not see the signs of the narcissist as I did not know what one even was until recently. If I only knew then what I know now...

Dec 14 - 5AM
donewithbeingused
donewithbeingused's picture

No contact

Jul 28 - 10PM
Trixy
Trixy's picture

wow donewithbeingused

Dec 14 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
donewithbeingused
donewithbeingused's picture

my post