In lieu of breaking NC

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Smarter-thanthis
Smarter-thanthis's picture
In lieu of breaking NC

I will write this.......

Everyday I run the park. Today HIS car was there......and it was gone when I finished.

He HAD to have seen mine.

How did it come to this?

It's 11:30pm where I live.......I put on a smile and had dinner with my friends. Now I am drunk and home alone in bed.

He hates me......I am so devastated.

And I don't think I can handle it if one more person tells me a am too smart and pretty for this.

Why can't he see all that is good in me?

MichelemyBelle
MichelemyBelle's picture
I am afraid my BF is a a Narc
He has been acting very strange. One night he was screaming at me and wouldnt stop so I slapped his face and he called 911 to tell them I assaulted him. The police came and he showed them a scratch on his leg that he got earlier that day from his boat that we were on and he said that I kicked him. They looked at my flip flops and did not believe him....TG!
Scoop
Scoop's picture
They cant see good in anyone
They cant see good in anyone , its not just you he finds imposible to relate to its everyone . the narc is about as mentaly ill as they come . You will pick this up in the morning and i hope you slept well and today is a brand new day which has been made for you , look after youre self , do just what you feel like doing , no pressure , its hang over mornings that i use to like to veg out on the sofa with a big back of chips and a good cookery show on or the antiques roadshow and try and chill and not think too much . Big hugs Scoop xxx
TNR1
TNR1's picture
A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans
I thought of you when I heard this song: Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of pain, but I brushed my teeth anyway. I got dressed through the mess, and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger. Ridin' in the car to work, and I'm tryin' to ignore the hurt. So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you. I listened to it for minute, but then I changed it. I'm gettin' a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger. And I'm done hopin' that we could work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, lettin' you drag my heart around. And ohhh, and I'm done thinkin' that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger. It doesn't happen overnight, but you turn around and a month's gone by, And you realize you haven't cried. I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger. And I'm done hopin' that we could work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, lettin' you drag my heart around. And ohhh, and I'm done thinkin' that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger. I get a little bit stronger. Gettin' along without you baby, I'm better off without you baby, How does it feel without me baby? I'm gettin' stronger without you baby. And I'm done hopin' that we could work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinnin' my wheels, and lettin' you drag my heart around. And ohhh, and I'm done thinkin' that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger. I get a little bit stronger. I'm just a little bit stronger. A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger. I get a little bit stronger. No copyright infringement is intended.
Free2bMe4582
Free2bMe4582's picture
A little bit stronger..
I'm on day 2 and feel a little bit stronger..thank God for my support system (my 4 year old son, my sisters, and mom). A little bit stronger! I can even feel a flash of strength in my despair..its been a long time coming!
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture
One of my fav's...
I have listened to this song since December, alamost daily at the beginning. It so sums up how I feel. I think it captures the pain and sadness but then realizing you are getting stronger, even on your weakest days. Fantastic! It gave me strength each day to keep moving forward. Going to see her in concert on 8/19. Very excited! Thanks for sharing!
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture
When you truly see...
the sickness in him you won't care what he sees or doesn't see in you! Is he a narc? cause if he is and if you've read up on it you don't make sense...are you saying you want to have a relationship with this narc? If yes, then why? Do you want him to tell you you're good and then you will be ok? ds
TNR1
TNR1's picture
Why can't he see all that is
Why can't he see all that is good in me? Because he can't see that in anyone, because he can't put himself in your shoes, because he is missing empathy, because he is personality disordered. Those of us with empathy, those of us who can see the good in others, those of us that "feel" and appreciate someone else really struggle with that. You can't walk in his shoes....you would have to remove something so precious from your soul that it would leave it empty. The best you can do is to remember that it had nothing at all to do with you...the fact that he can't see the good in you has everything to do with what he is lacking. Love yourself through this time of healing and know that this board is here for you whenever you need it. HUGS.
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Smarter
He doesn't hate you, hate would mean feeling, they have none! You've been emotionally raped! Give it time, knowledge is power, Hunter