life without my N

I am going through a divorce that my N initated after 15 years of marriage and 21 total years together. It has been 4 months since he left. I have been NC for a little over a month. Life seems so bleak. I am losing my home (my third home due to this man) in a couple of weeks - it sold thank the Lord but I am losing it nonetheless. I will be moving into a friend's camper until the divorce is final and I know how much I will have and can get a more affordable home, as I have many pets and renting would be a waste of money anyway.

I just miss him. I miss him so much. I cry every day but it gets a little less sometimes. I am in therapy and I have a great support network. But I miss my husband. my love. I know it can never be again. I wish my heart would catch up to my brain. I am 42. I don't want to be alone forever. I am so lonely right now. I know there is CD going on. I just miss him. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. Thank God I never had kids with him. I keep telling myself that is good so that I never have to see him again. I just hope to find love again one day. when I am ready. I will NOT be a man-basher. I just don't see how there is life beyond my N sometimes. I certainly don't want to die but this is only existing not living. When you are with someone this long, they are so much a part of you. Thanks for reading.