lonely

Hi Everybody,

I need some support today, I am now at 3 months NC, and it feels very hard at the moment, because I am still very exhausted and dont know what to do sometimes. I dont want to go and meet people because I feel lonely, because it would be people where I am not comfortable with, but then it means I feel lonely, really lonely. I started dreaming again about exn, and I think it has come to a milestone or something, this is the moment I have to be strong because otherwise I will forget everything and be open for another round, Not really I am this time more aware of everything and I can feel my self esteem growing everyday, but I feel so sad lately. I was working very hard the last week and when I finished some deadlines I discovered that I am still a mess. I dont want to do anything, so I try to keep myself busy. Today it is saturday and everybody is with there family, I desire to have a partner to, but to find one I have to go out in the world and I am not ready for it. I would love to walk the compostella route in Spain, but not by myself. Well I decided to clean my wardrobe, all the stuff from exn goes to a second hand shop and I will only keep what defines me, where I feel a decent woman in. But what do I do to get the pain away? I have the deep inner pain again like it is day one NC? I didnt do anything, no contact no looking on the internet etc. Is this normal ?

Hope someone can support me, because I am really lonely at the moment,

Thanks,

X