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  5. Looked at his facebook page..grrrrrrr

Looked at his facebook page..grrrrrrr

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#1 Oct 2 - 7PM
shortway
shortway's picture

Looked at his facebook page..grrrrrrr

Ok So I had my friend change the passwords so I wouldn't but then I did...
the girl he is seeing only after 3 weeks is going away..and he writes "but i will miss you"..Ok yeah but treat me like crap and treat someone off the street like gold...thanks..love that...give me a break..god im so furious

Oct 3 - 1PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Avoiding FB...

The last time I found out ANYTHING personal about the ex-P, it was 9 years ago. Thank goodness he doesn't have FB... maybe he's afraid of being exposed... lol... So early in the healing, I'd avoid FB. A year after the D&D, when I found out the ex-P had married and had kids, it was a kick in the gut. Here was the man who said "it shouldn't matter to you I already have a girlfriend", who pretended as if his girlfriend didn't exist, emotionally abused me... playing the Normal Family Man. It was painful. A decade later, impersonal stuff such as the lectures he gives only make laugh.. I'm thankful his personal stuff is NOT over the Internet.
Oct 2 - 8PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Facebook

Yes I must agree stay away from Facebook. It truly is the devil and is exactly how I ended up in this mess and now going thru round 2 with the narc. He has since cancelled his FB account and honestly I think it is truly the nicest thing he has ever done for me. I used to check his page constantly and of course I would see things that would send me into a jealous rage. STAY AWAY FROM FACEBOOK it will only prolong your pain
Oct 2 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
shortway
shortway's picture

You are correct..it is

You are correct..it is prolonging my pain..Its like opening a wound tonight..i know it was stupid to check and I haven't but its' like you want to believe they will realize,they will feel bad,they will GET IT...meanwhile i'm just sitting here crying..I'm just like lonely..very lonely..
Oct 2 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Shortway

So sorry you are feeling so bad trust me I know as for me Im one of the select few that have been chosen to live this HELL twice! atleast I got a 15 year break in between. I truly is a living hell. I went 3 weeks NC then broke and have beenc communicating with the NARC and guess what? I feel like Shit. I mean shit! My body even feels sickly and it shows in my face too. They are truly evil and you can feel your soul being poisioned by them. Stay NC contact if you can trust me its for your own good. You never get any resolution with these people. All you get is more pain
Oct 3 - 12PM (Reply to #12)
shortway
shortway's picture

I know..its so

I know..its so frustrating.He is so selfish..Have can one not have any feelings towards a person..And harbor all this anger...my opinion is that they are so selfish that they don't want to feel any thing in the way of their new girl,because she is theirs to won and noone can interrupt that...they live in the now,as if noone else matters except their supply...i am baffled by how much he doesnt care..he just lashes out at me,and is"missing her" when she goes on vacation..a 31 yr old missing a 23yr old who is going to party in cancun..it's crazy
Oct 2 - 9PM (Reply to #11)
shortway
shortway's picture

I know..I just can't reach

I know..I just can't reach him,it will never happen..no matter what angle,what way,he will always block me so it's frustrating in itself.Either that or he will get his rocks off because I still care,or just make him feel like he has me...then he'll be chasing after her more...The whole thing is sick....I was doing so well..I'm back to the drawing board...I deserve it though for creeping on the facebook page...however,I was having feeling boiling up at the dinner table and i was bound to explode anyway..
Oct 2 - 8PM
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

shortway

here's some thruth you may not like. YOur anger and frustration is understandable. But it is not unavoidable. unfortunately by reading his FB page you have set yourself up for disappointment and resentment. trust us we've been there. hurts? Yes. Pissed? Deifinitely. We have no conrtol over what they do, say, think or feel(if that one's even possible). But you do have control over your actions. Step away from the Facebook, it's the devil. Do you remember your parents warnig you when you were a child not to touch a hot stove? You may or may not have listened. If it was the latter, do you remember the pain and how quickly you moved your hand away. Step away from the pain. Chalk it up to a life lesson that you will be able to pass on, when you are ready.
Oct 2 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
shortway
shortway's picture

I know..I know..It's just

I know..I know..It's just like we all are suffering and we don't get why they get to go on not suffering when they left this trail of destruction behind them..It's like wtf....I'm having a weak night tonight big time.. lol "step away from the facebook"..lol that was funny..you are right..I guess since we feel so out of control by their actions,we want some control over the situation...It hurts,it really does..the fact that i have known him for 15years and i was going away on a business trip and caught him with this girl before i went..He didn't say he'd miss me before I left...But he is saying to her he is'going to miss her" on her page..a 23yr old going to cancun>>after seeing each other for 3 weeks....like wtf..god the PRINCIPLE of th matter kills me..it really does..
Oct 2 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

So you got your hand burned

So you got your hand burned when you put it on the stove. But that's just it, we just have to see, it drives us crazy and before you know it, we just have to do it. So i agree with all the ladies, but i remember those days and have moments of repeating them now. You know you just fu*ked yourself by doing this because you satisfied the need to know but now you got to think about this shit all day and night and that is surely not worth it. but we do it again and again until that burned hand isn't worth it anymore. We do this at our own speed because sometimes there is no one on earth that could convince us not to in these early days. This is why i used to repeat on a daily basis: 'curiosity killed the cat, curiosity killed the cat.' I had never said that so many times in my life as i did in those last 3 yrs. it was my mantra. don't beat yourself up, it is the goal to get to NC, sometimes it takes a lot of burned hands but tomorrow is another day to try again. almostlydia

almostlydia

Oct 2 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
shortway
shortway's picture

Thanks so much guys..I love

Thanks so much guys..I love you all...It's hard..We keep trying to get resolution,something..because unlike them,we don;t like to be angry,vile,cold hearted people..we have a problem with wrong-doings..they don't this is why we can't wrap our heads around it..i screwed myself..yes"curiosity does kil the cat"..he wrote that on her facebook page after i blocked him,so he was also probably w impy baby realizing she was all he had..and he must work to keep from losing that too..god i hate this,all ofthis,i hate us woman have to be treated so badly whrn these N's are just to their full N capacity..i wish we could all take each other's pain away...and you guys do that so much for me..I'm sorry I let you down by snooping and burning my hand,and breaking NC..I was at the top of my game...a leader of the pack for the past 3days,,now i'm back on the bottom..But I will get back up ladies..I will..
Oct 2 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Shortway,

It's very hard to stop doing it, but just remember, you looking at his FB only hurts you. Stop touching that hot stove, you will get burned! :-)
Oct 2 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
shortway
shortway's picture

It is...I screwed

It is...I screwed myself...God it pains to see "but i'll miss you"...then her other friend saying to him" you have nothing to worry about boyyy"..like it's a win-win for him...why do they always win....god i hate him and myself right now for caving in..
Oct 2 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

shortway

here's another perspective..He's incapable of missing anyone. He may miss the supply he's getting from her that's it. Just like many post you've read on here I'm sure. They are not genuine however long or quickly he reveals himself, the only thing you can do is say she is a child of God also and wish her a speedy awakening and an even faster fleeing from the evil that awaits her. wouldn't wish that impending misery on anyone. It takes what it takes. trust me we've all tried to wrap our head around the injustice of it all. We are never gonna "GET" the why. the realization once it finally hit. That it was all a lie was enough for me to finally be done. next week I'll be NC 90 days. Baby steps=small triumphs. You'll get there. I t doesn't mean we don't understand every single one of us has felt every emotion you are going through.