Mel79's Story

First sorry for my english, I'm european and I do my best to write good.
I met my now ex-boyfriend five months ago.
His wife died of cancer two months before.
We dated and he told me he was ready to move forward.
The first two months we lived in a dream.
I'm a single mother with three kids and most of the time he spent his time with me.
You need to know I'm working fulltime and take care of my kids every two weeks. Means, they are a week with their father and a week with me.

He had a dog. So the housheld came big. Five people and a dog.
But I enjoyed it.
We went on a holiday to france he and I. We had great talks, we went out. In short it was great.

He surprised me with unexpected vistits.
I was in seven heaven.

But then it changed. I came tired of doing every thing. He did like my two youngest kids. Only the oldest one cause she could talk. :-)

I was in love, but he told me that he liked spending time with me but there was no future for us.
I was devastated. Why could he not love me? He just saw me as a good good friend.

The love romance was over. The day he told me that I came very depressed. I made some wrong decisions.
He was the love of my life and I did not love me back.

He was mad at me after that. I had no respect for him. He lost already his wife and I almost took the decission to step out of his life.
But I was tired.
Tired of listing to him. I had no social life anymore. Could not go out wit girlfriends. I even had no choice when I had to go to bed.

He wanted me to do everything with him.

After my stupid behavioral, he decided that he would not come to my house again. What would people think of him. Still seeing him after what I did. So I made the distance.
Every day, I drove one hour to be with him. To sit on the couch drink tea and sleep together. THen I had to pull on my clothes and leave back home. Cause he did not want me to sleep in the same bed as his late wife.
I came tired again.

Then He asked me in a druk mood one night if I sleep over.
I did, but in de bedroom, there was a wedding picture of him and his late wife. Her clothes where still there.
IN the middle of the night I ran.

He was not ready.
He was mad. That is normal you are just jealous, it is normal to have picture of my wife in my house.

You don't love me that is why you always run awsy.
You don't love me that is why you don't want sex me.

If I said, you know my feelings I love you. Do you love me? He said, I like you a lot as a friend.

I felt like our relationship was only for sex. When I told him that, he said that I hurted him by telling him that.
He was a good person, does nothing wrong.

No, it is over. I will tell you later maybe the story.
But I have no 24 hours no contact.
Its difficult. Because I took care of him. He had no friends. I want to know how he is doing cause he is on a trip to Prague for the moment.
So, I'm just writing here so that I don't use my cell to text him...:-)