Met a guy who is "not my type"

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#1 Aug 23 - 1PM
Amy
Amy's picture

Met a guy who is "not my type"

This is actually pretty funny for me to realize...

I met a guy this weekend who is "not my type". He is really tall, well built, Dutch (blond/blue), kind of blue collar... OH and he is NICE. Like super sweet. We have mutual friends and we were all hanging out together. We hit it off.

I have been struggling with the fact that he is not a "professional" type and he drives a truck. Then I realized that my "type" typically = asshole! LOL!

I have had an issue with more blue-collar type guys because I do pretty well, and when I was married, my husband (sometimes abusive) was intimidated by how much more money I made than him. But I guess I need to realize that everyone is not the same, and that I should give this guy a chance (he makes about as much as I do, just in a more blue-collar field of work).

I have also noticed that I have typically gone for Italin or Latin guys - dark hair and eyes. This is completely different for me. I hate to stereotype, but I must admit that the Italians and Latins are far more controlling than other guys I have dated.

So all in all, getting away from "my type" may be a very good thing! :)

Aug 24 - 1PM
janine
janine's picture

A very good thing

this may indeed be, as you say. Just relax, Amy, forget about all these things he should or should not be. Do not regard it as a new relationship from square one, just a nice guy you go out with and have fun with. If he turns out to be not all that great, it won't matter so much. And if he is, you will see where it goes. No need to worry about who makes how much money or what kind of jobs you have, no pressure. Good luck!
Aug 23 - 3PM
hopefuljms
hopefuljms's picture

Let me tell you what my

Let me tell you what my therapist says, If he asks go out with him. Give it 3 dates. That way it gives you time to get to know him, time to see if there are an "red flags" and time to change what "your type" might be. Like you I made more money than both by Husband and ex boyfried. Both were N's but different types and my Ivy league educated husband couldn't deal with the fact that I made more money than he did and the ex B N always made sure I paid for 1/2 of everything. Good luck!!! J
Aug 23 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Amy
Amy's picture

Good advice! Your therapist

Good advice! Your therapist has a point there about changing what our "types" should be. I have never gone out with a guy who is comfortable with me paying for dinner! Honestly, unless it is a birthday or something, I feel a man should be embarassed if that happens! I guess I am just old fashioned that way. This guy is very much the gentleman, and I can't see him wanting me to pay for dinner. My exN fiance makes about 3 times what I do, and he started wanting to control my money. He went from saying he would pay for my son's college to asking me how I was going to pay for it (within a month of getting engaged). He wanted to buy a bigger house - expecting me to fund the difference. Was a little crazy - this was a guy who, in public, wanted to buy my groceries, clothes, etc. However, he would make me pay for stuff when he "disapproved" of what I was buying (IF I was allowed to buy at all) and when I was being "punished".