"Mourning the Man he wanted you to fall for"
"Mourning the Man he wanted you to fall for"
Thank you Sundaysmile for inspiring me to address this huge part of the recovery. I dont know why this part has taken so long to catch up to me; perhaps I was SO focused on what the real man was that I ignored and forgot along the way the prince he initially was. That is a good thing; but it comes back to bite you in the ass because part of this trauma for me at least was waking up and realizing I was giving my love, heart and soul to a monster.
What happens in a relationship with such disordered people is the longer you stay the less crumbs you receive, and when they do throw you a crumb you scurry around trying to collect them as if they are gold nuggets or something. However, to me they were gold; they were little pieces of the man he once was for me and I loved every single crumb he threw me. For a good four years I just collected pieces of the original man he was. I was loving something that was not whole - it was FOOLS GOLD, all those little pieces kept me fooled for so long.
They all crumble eventually to everyone who loved them..."all the kings horses and all the kings men could not put humpty dumpty back together again" He shattered into a million pieces over the course of those six years and so did I.
We can never put them back together in the form they came to us as, all we can do is put ourselves back to who we once were.. that's what I am working so hard to do -x0
I had a very interesting
Krooks
This is so beautiful and
Wise words...
Such wise wise words thank you
Neverlookback....I used to
nerverlook back
imagination
Thank you
This is a beautiful post! I
Sparrow
It is so true! To love
YES
a love.....
Sad to say, my N never was a "dream man"
More than the Artificial Crumbs Man
I want me back too...
That hits me really hard. I
Miss mine
You are so right
You go right ahead
Fool's Gold
WOW
This is an amassing
Neverlookback, loved your Fools Gold
Cgirl
Hey Neverlookback
fools gold
FeFe
mmm aint that the truth. the