As much f-up my life is right now, I`d rather be in it

..

My life is a mess from a lot of point of views, financially, emotionally..but I`d rather be in it, poor as it is right now. I`d rather stay and work it through.

I have run away from myself all my life, that`s what I know best. But no more.

Lately I had received some anonymous friend requests again, but didn`t answer any of them. I changed my password again, for my own safety.

I don`t know if he is happy or not, what he does, who he screws, I don`t wanna know anymore.

Evene if my life right now, has a lot of missing points, I am not leaving ME anymore. For nothing..whatever may happen. I may be screwed financially, empty emotionally, I may have to do all the work and self-love, my parents whould have done for me.

But I am willing to stay and try. However poor and small my life is, it is MINE. I`m not giving it up for any fantasy perspective or "knight" in sninning armour.

If I invest in myself, I have nothing to lose. Only to gain.

I am not sure if those were hoover attempts, or "low supply" or whatever, but he comes and goes. "Cheks" and leaves, as he always did.

What is the difference this time? That this time I CHOOSE to be alone. I choose to be with me. I`m not leaving ME anymore.

Have a peaceful day, and stay strong everyone!

xx