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My H ADMITTED to being a Narcissist and that he can't be cured!

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#1 Mar 18 - 5PM
Jodie
Jodie's picture

My H ADMITTED to being a Narcissist and that he can't be cured!

I finally spoke with my N husband today..after ignoring calls, crying, feeling abandoned, etc..I made a call to him today afer I received yet another text message, "I need the garage door opener!" He has asked for the garage door opener in every text he has sent me since the separation, nothing else....well the taxes and garage door opener. It's comical.

Anyhow I picked up the phone and let him have it! He said well you know I'm a Narcissist and we can't be cured. He said, "It's sad there are people out there walking this earth that are like that, and I'm ONE of them!" He asked me how I think he got that way and that he knows he can't change. He admitted to being selfish, etc. He said his therapist is an idiot and he's not helping. "I just think I'm going to be one of those people who wind up alone. I mean, I tried the "nice" girls, I tried the "crazy" girls like you, and each time they leave or I leave them." I actually had to explain the over-value, devalue and discard routine that Narcissist's pull on each of their victims....and he AGREED!!

He agreed to the Madonna Whore complex, the lack of growth, no empathy, etc. He said, "You know I'm like this and can't change so if you want to work things out in the future we should go to a marriage counselor but right now I'm happier because I can go to they gym more and the house is so much cleaner that you're not here. I love you. I have to get my hair cut now. Hang in there."

Hahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

And I cry over this man EVERY day!!!

Mar 19 - 8PM
grossot
grossot's picture

Wow! I am absolutely

Wow! I am absolutely frickin' amazed at how alike these monsters are! My N (STBX) texts me all the time about the curtains and the wii and the camera and the camcorder. You think he might say, "How's my little girl?" No. Toys are more important. People are toys, objects, pons in their game of life. When I told my N he was textbook he said, "do you enjoy hurting me?" It was via text so it had to look on record that he cares. I'm convinced Barbara's right - they are from the same planet far far away. This man is not worth one more tear. Take up a hobby. I'm knitting. It's either knit myself a 50' long scarf or kick his ass! I'm not serving time for his sorry behind. nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled

Mar 19 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ummm

STOP RESPONDING TO HIM BLOCK HIM IF YOU CAN!!! PLEASE or save all those texts FOR YOUR ATTORNEY - include time, date, etc. It will bite him in the a** in court, believe me. http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Mar 19 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Kickboxing

Grossot - great advice you gave on taking up a hobby like knitting. I find kickboxing to be an incredible outlet for anger and frustration. Every time you kick, just picture their head at the other end. Exercise has never been so enjoyable! :)
Mar 18 - 8PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

warning will robinson ;)

As someone who counsels victims let me give you a couple warnings: 1. Do NOT go WITH him to counseling. He is to go ALONE. And he's to allow you & his counselor to speak so she can GET YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY without judgement. Narcs do WELL in counseling. They schmooze the counselor, learn new buzzwords, get medication (sometimes makes them SEEM better but they arent) then come out and say "hey I am all shiny & new now so TAKE ME BACK." http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/11/couples-counseling-marriage-counseling.html http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/category/sandra-says/sandra%E2%80%99s-bi-monthly-article Whatever he does BE DONE WITH HIM. No amount of counseling is going to fix this. Move on and let him go. Cut him off. Counseling has to be something HE DOES FOR HIMSELF. NOT, I repeat, NOT WITH YOU! If you want counseling find someone to go to YOURSELF. Alone. Someone who GETS pathologicals. Please.
Mar 18 - 8PM
ms_jeeves
ms_jeeves's picture

I hear you!

When my fiancee told me that his orders were canceled and he wasn't coming to Guam, he said that he looked forward to sitting across the table, looking into my bright blue eyes, and having a cup of coffee with me one day. He didn't understand AT ALL why I was REALLY upset by that. I wanted him to talk to me in person... he thought I should realize that he was saying that he wanted to see me again... and that was a good thing. As a friend just said to me, I wouldn't have asked him to give a ratty T-shirt for me (I did ask him to give up chewing gum... and he did, grudgingly) but he could ask me to give up my whole support system, a job, a continent, etc. Then, a day or two later it was just "I'm involved with someone else. Please do not attempt further contact" Cold as could be. The lack of emotional attachment after three years is really incredible to me. For the most part, I had really enjoyed our life together and am stunned that I didn't understand the level of his indifference. I never would have guessed that he could have wandered away from me so easily and casually.
Mar 18 - 7PM
cassiemay
cassiemay's picture

Oh my....

"I have to get my hair cut now. Hang in there????" And the "house is so much cleaner now that you're not here? And I can go to the fucking gym more????" Oh, I'm so sorry Jodie. That pretty well sums it up, doesn't it? Listen, I KNOW you are thinking, ok he's finally got some insight and would be willing to go to counseling. Ok..Ok.. I understand. Just be very careful; very very careful if you choose this route. He says one thing in one second and follows it by another very revealing thought after that. Take care of yourself. I wish you all the luck in the World if counseling can help and if you choose to do that. It is very difficult to turn these men down if there seems like an ounce of commitment or insight. But beware. Listen carefully if you are even considering this. Let a therapist be your go-between in order to help YOU get a better sense of just what's real and authentic and hopeful (or not). xxoo CM
Mar 18 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
better off
better off's picture

No kidding..."I'm happier

No kidding..."I'm happier without you because I can be more selfish. I love you." Right. That's love.
Mar 19 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Jodie

Oh, I'm so sorry! What a classic narcissist. He's happier because he has more time to go to the gym? ARGH!!! I know how frustrated you feel. The things they say to you once their true colors are exposed are absolutely mind-blowing, aren't they? You know what, though? He's doing you a favor - he's just validating his narcissism even more. And isn't that what we need when we're doubting ourselves and questioning if we should really end the relationship? He's giving you textbook examples of narcissistic behavior that help you put any doubt in your mind to rest. Write these statements down. All of them! You will be able to look back at them some day and laugh and until that time, you can look at them to remind yourself of what a crazy narcissist he is! Lastly, the fact that he is acknowledging that he is a narcissist should not give you any hope that he may be willing to change his behavior. The fact that he is calling himself a narcissist is just further proof that he is a narcissist. He is simply getting off on the fact that he's a narcissist now. Trust me - real, hard core narcissists are proud to admit that they are narcissists. xoxo, Lisa