my N sent me this note yesterday

My N sent me a note that he is taking his son on a tour of his company but he can't take my son because it's top secret production. Both our sons are 8. My son has been asking why we can't all ride together to the boat on Thursday night instead of us going on Friday and they're going on Thursday night. I told him that my N is taking his son to his company. He thought that was cool and wondered if he could just see the scientists office. I told him I would ask but I couldn't make any promises. Anyway, this is the response I got out me asking a simple question. He blows up at everything and confuses and makes me feel bad for asking.

note from my N -
Why did you even bring it up to him? It should have been no big deal. I doubt that anything would have even come up and this should not be an issue. Now you've got him involved and it's turned into a huge production. Friday you should have just come down here and things would have been good. Now there is some stupid issue.

I don't understand why you have to complicate things for no reason.

You've got all these hangups about what things mean. How I feel about you or us as some sort of family. You look at stuff like this as some sort of read about what's going on. I figured you'd get all bent out of shape about it. I could have chosen to say nothing but then it would have come up and would have been a even bigger deal. I am trying to head off a pointless and stupid argument and I get one any way.

Dealing with things like this is way too complicated and is completely pointless. I don't enjoy it and it is certainly not helpful to our relationship.

All along I've told you that a relationship has to grow in my book. That comes from good experiences and positive things that happen. All along for us it has been fights, arguments, accusations, misunderstandings and pointless problems that are not necessary. Those things don't help a relationship and it should make sense that our weak relationship is the result. So where are we? In my view, we have a weak relationship that is struggling. I enjoy being with you sometimes but there is a lot of pointless stuff that is detrimental to our relationship that prevents it from growing.

Honestly, right now I am trying to figure out where my life is going. I am looking ahead to the fall & winter and trying to make sense of what I will be doing. I may be homeless or I may have to find a new place to live by then. That whole transition would have been an ideal time to try to make a relationship work with someone. I like the idea of going home to someone after the commute in the winter. Being able to have a place to go home and plug in with a family would be great.

But I do not see that happening for us. I don't see us having a strong enough relationship by then where I would be willing to make that change. There has been too much damage and problem up to now and I do not think that we have a relationship that will last long term.

So right now, I am enjoying the time we have and the fun things we can do this summer. Maybe our relationship will get better but I am not counting on it.