My story kokosiru

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#1 Dec 22 - 3PM
kokosiru
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My story kokosiru

I wish i can speak English as same as my language so i can express my feeling and pain.But after i read many story Now i know I'm not alone.

Here is my 7 years story with my N.

I know our relationship was crazy since day1.
I know my N was a pimp at that time. So i have to say I made this situation voluntarily.
Cuz i was tired for my EX BF who is a drug addict. But same time I loved him and care about him so i needed some rest..
MY N seemed like perfect, he didn't ask me anything and come to see me when i needed.
After 1 year past N stop pimping and married another Japanese lady. i found out from my friend who is a friend of his wife.( small world)
I was kinda shock but he said he married her for money and to be honest i didn't care if my EX not found out about I cheated him.
My ex was still in and out treatment center and I saw N every 3-4 times a week and seemed like nothing was changed for long time.
But I start think about N more than my EX and start think to beak up with my EX. Same time N about to fin his marriage because finally she got Green Card.
I don't know N was waiting for this timing but almost same time we both fin our own relationship.
Then thing changed..
Seemd like our relationship was normal. ( our normal is not normal i guess cuz he still curse me out when he has bad mood or if he didn't get what he wants)
He start working at the school also start his dream business.
N asked me if he can move into my apartment.
But I dint want to show my EX about my N cuz i worried if my EX know about N, my EX might not go to treatment.This supposed to my last help to my EX.
But i didn't want to loose N also I felt guilty so i agree to let N use my name as joint tenant for his new apartment.( shame!)
After my EX went to treatment my relationship with N start change again.
I found 2 girls ( not same time but in 2 weeks) hang out with him.
I accused him he never admit he cheated on me but he told me I did same things first. then when its happen to me I cant take it was not fair for him. what he doing right now is I did him first n I hurt him badly cuz he went through same situation for years with me. Also he said i didnt give hin enough sex! ( at least we had sex 4-5times a week for 7 years!)
I got confuse why he start this now?
After all my emotion moved to him.
So first of all I start guess N may be he is SEX ADDICT and i agree to have sex with him more n check how he do.
He came to my place everyday and wanted have sex more than 20 time a week..
So i asked professional counselor about my N and the counselor told me he might sex addict but he believe N is a NPD. His sex is a tool for control woman...
I"ve never known about NPD then I found this website.
I read many storys and i realize what he said to me, what he did to me,how he react,every thing was sounded my N.
I still confuse. But I know even he is not NPD my relationship is not I dreamt even I was not innocent.
Yesterday I txt him and told him I should leave him.
He text me back and told me " LOL u don't know me. You are CLAZY.
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME. But I will remember to stay away from you..."