N just texted me... is this a threat?

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#1 Apr 28 - 7PM
deecbee
deecbee's picture

N just texted me... is this a threat?

I've been posting a lot of topics lately and I'll cool it for a bit, but I need an outside, objective opinion on this.

I broke NC last week and the N and I went back and forth through text for a bit. His OW was out of town and it was a very weird, twisted mixture of hoovering and D&D. Didn't think that was possible, but this freaked managed to do both simultaneously. He would try to convince me to come over for a quickie, and in the next breath call me a skank, a stupid whore, you name it. It was really shocking.

As soon as his OW got back into town, he cut me off cold and completely stopped responding to my texts. The last one I sent was Monday morning. I once again read him the riot act of narcissism/psychopathy and exposed him.

He didn't respond until today. It said this:

Do I want to fuck you? Of course. Would we eventually kill each other? Yea I can acknowledge that now.

Is this a thinly-veiled threat or just a play on words? I honestly can't tell given the context. Part of me thinks it might only be a turn of phrase because we both have fiery personalities and I'm the only woman in his life who has EVER challenged him, and that's what kept him on his toes for a while, but also what caused so much turbulence.

On the other hand, I wonder if this is a threat. He IS a psychopath, he was diagnosed at 15. "Yea I can acknowledge that now" could mean "Yea, now that it's out in the open, I can admit that I would kill you." He has a way of depersonalizing things- using "some people" or "they" when he means "you" or "me".

Am I over-thinking this? I'm a little disturbed right now. Did this man just admit that he'd eventually kill me?

May 11 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

deecbee

myexhn and exn was always threating to kill me, my exh even said after he met narc he will kill you, myen then said if i had been your husband i would have killed you, yes i got this sweet talk lol all the time. there was a point with exn when he said i would like to kill you and bury you , but all roads lead back to me, i admit that time 2 friends took his address, but he seemed to know he had gone to far and that was the last time he said it, it seems to be something all these idiots say, well a lot of them anyway.
May 10 - 2PM
Epiphany
Epiphany's picture

Sex hoover

Ah the sex hoover. Once you're away long enough you finally realize the sex wasnt all that special either. Just tell him his junk is too small for you and you get more enjoyment from a wet dream than you ever did from his tiny little noodle. Not only will it literally feel to him like he's been kicked in his business, his ridiculous ego will take a pounding as well.
May 11 - 9AM (Reply to #14)
spinning
spinning's picture

Ephiph...so TRUE!

And funny, too. Being away for 6 months and a week I am actually quite relieved that I don't have to deal with the disordered one's weird, obsessive, narcissistic so-called sex...and his junk WAS small! Thank you for the chuckle! This is a great day!! Love and light to you and to all from, (not) spinning...but grinning from ear to ear!

spinning

May 10 - 1PM
marlaoryx
marlaoryx's picture

"But yes, I love fucking you

"But yes, I love fucking you but we will end up killing each other was a usual banter in our relationship" Ditto.
Apr 29 - 8AM
spinning
spinning's picture

deec, I'm with all the others

and view it as a D & D with as much honesty as you're gonna get. Mine used to say something similiar quite often...that we would "destroy each other" and it would "end badly." How prophetic. I always thought he was saying these things to get me to calm him down and tell him everything was okay... WTF. They're sick, disordered and incredibly self-centered, disrespectful and secret women-haters. Good riddance. Get back on the NC bandwagon. Lose this loser!!!! He's going to be miserable the rest of his life. You'll move on and be happy and free of CD, chaos and high drama. You won't believe how good that can be! Big hug to you, deec, from spinning (a little today)

spinning

Apr 29 - 8AM
momoya
momoya's picture

Cut him off!

Go No Contact. Work on You. Stop trying to figure out a pyschopath that disrepects you! all the best!

momoya

Apr 29 - 6AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Dee

Click and Delete. Scrambled Eggs!! Really, why try a makes sense of nonsense. He's leaving the door open just in case. It's very romantic, don't you think? Hunter
Apr 29 - 7AM (Reply to #9)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Yuck, not romantic.

Yuck, not romantic. Degrading and cold. It is all scrambled eggs. Not sure if even he knows wtf he's talking about.
Apr 29 - 2AM
dudette
dudette's picture

N and I used to

say things like that to each other all the time. I guess it was an aknowlegment that we had no long term future.... The reason? I knew he was dangerous for me and he knew he could not control me as he wished..... Not a threat I think..... But yes, I love fucking you but we will end up killing each other was a usual banter in our relationship
Apr 29 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

I'm glad the consensus is no.

I'm glad the consensus is no. I'm way paranoid now!
Apr 28 - 11PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

Not a threat

I think he is saying the two of you would not get along if you got back together but he still wants you. He said it in a very rude way... Ny ex N of 10 years will not speak to me or text me at all, not even to finalize the break up or say we broke up. I would say yours sounds like a very destructive type - good luck going NC...I am struggling too.
Apr 29 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Thanks.. it is tough. They

Thanks.. it is tough. They want it this way.
Apr 28 - 8PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I don't deem it as a threat,

I don't deem it as a threat, no. I think it's a manipulative way of saying...oh yeah, you're ''fuck-able deecbee'' but ...we'd end up killing each other. Meaning...you both aren't right for one another, he's saying. I don't believe it to be a threat. I see it as more of a mind-game...crazy making...manipulative tactic. Like you should be so grateful he said that he would like to fuck you. Please ignore this man. He has someone else too in his life, now. And he has no respect for her either if he's saying such filth to you. YUCK!!!! This guy is gross. Please find the will to stop talking to him. You deserve muuuuch better! {{hugs}}
Apr 28 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Whew, I hope not. I just

Whew, I hope not. I just watched a fatal attraction-type movie and it was the most terrifying thing, so my mind is in overdrive. I know he's got issues, but I'd be crushed if it all dissolved into him being so depraved as to openly admit to wanting to kill me. Thanks, D. I won't respond. I'm in full-on NC, I'm not going to break it. Funny thing about his OW- he's made up this elaborate story to make me jealous, but it turns out she doesn't acknowledge his existence in public. She comes from a high profile family and they nor her friends would approve of the scumbag. He just so happens to be decent in bed. They sleep together and that's it. She's completely using him so he's getting a taste of his own medicine. He's working overtime to hook her and make her his next target, though, I'm sure. But back on topic- thanks, I trust your opinion. My mind is more at ease.
Apr 28 - 7PM
deecbee
deecbee's picture

I should also add, he's never

I should also add, he's never been physically violent towards me. He does have a short temper and is prone to outbursts, but he managed to get it somewhat under control in the last 5 years. But he does have a violent streak, verbally and sexually speaking.