Narc is already on a datingsite! So angry!

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#1 Jan 13 - 1PM
Dutchie83
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Narc is already on a datingsite! So angry!

Hi everybody,

I'm new here. I've been reading your stories for a couple of weeks and it really helped me to finally go No Contact 11 days ago, so thank you all! English is not my native language, so if there are any grammar faults, please excuse me :)

My narc is a textbook narc, no doubt about it. My story is similar to all of yours, so I won't get in to detail right now, you get the picture :) We met on a datingsite, dated for 17 months and in the end I didn't even really like him anymore, I didn't like spending time with him because he was constantly nagging and I completely lost my respect for him because I found out he had contact with other women during our time together, which he admitted, so my trust in him was gone. He of course was angry with me for being angry with him about his actions and lies (typical right!). I cancelled our christmasplans and he hoovered like a mad man but I didn't give in. Same thing on new years eve. We saw eachother on newyearsday and he spent the night and the next day we had a very nice time. I decided that it was our last time, sort of a farewell-day. He tried to make it a "let's stay in this relationship-day" , but I told him my faith in him was gone and we we're toxic together. He accepted my decision and that was it. He took all his stuff, went home and this is 11 days ago. I haven't heard anything from him. His friends contacted me but I didn't respond. I deleted them and blocked my narc from Facebook. I also blocked my narc on Whatsapp. I do have withdrawal-symptoms, it's really hard sometimes, I do miss him (well not really him of course, but that's my childhood wound and I'm working on that).

The other night I wanted to check him. I know it's breaking no contact, but I actually was quite surprised (and also disappointed) that he didn't hoover once. For the 3 minutes I stared at the screen, he was online NON-STOP. I figured he was already busy with someone else, because in our beginning, we texted night and day. To see this and to know in my heart what was happening hurted like hell. The next day I was talking to a friend and told her I checked on him and he was online non-stop, and that I thought it was with a girl, but it could also be a friend (I tried to convince myself of that I guess). She told me that she saw him again on the datingsite that we met, being very active. I was very hurt, but then I remembered that he is a disturbed person. He NEEDS validation and attention to survive, it doesn't matter from whom, and that made it better.

I now find my mind wondering off everytime, because I am really angry about it. He is such a loser for immediately going online, looking for the next victim, within a week of not seeing me. I know it has nothing to do with me, but I want to text him and tell him that he's a pathetic creature, that he will end up alone and that I am glad I got rid of him. I know I shouldn't do it. But it keeps coming back, that urge, to confront him with this. I know there is no good outcome when I do. He either responds and tries to lure me back in and I'll be at risk of going back, or he won't respond, and I will feel terrible because of that....

How do I get rid of the anger and the urge to contact him to tell him he's a freak?? I'm so angry!

Jan 13 - 1PM
ItsFinallytime
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Hi Dutchie83, welcome to the

Jan 13 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
Dutchie83
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Thank you so much

Jan 13 - 1PM
spinning
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Hi, Dutchie, and welcome

spinning

Jan 13 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Dutchie83
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Thank you (not) Spinning!

Jan 14 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Radiant
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Awesome, Dutchie83!

Jan 15 - 5AM (Reply to #4)
Dutchie83
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Hi Radiant,I feel your pain