Narc Speak Help please?

I posted this in Q&A by accident... I kinda got lost on the site. :)

I could use some help with this. I've learned a lot in the last three weeks after realizing exactly what I was dealing with but I'm still a little confused and clearing this part up will go a long way towards putting him behind me. I'm close... But I'm not there yet.

I recently joined this forum after spending a few hours reading and learning quite a bit.I recently "broke up" with a "friend" after 18 years. While our relationship was never physical, it appeared to be heading that way. (It broke my heart it didn't happen but now, I'm grateful it never made it that far!)
I went from hallowed ground to completely discarded in a matter of hours. One of the things he said to me, which made really no sense at the time and, well, it still doesn't or I wouldn't be asking is:"You questioned my integrity." Seriously, it wasn't until after I was discarded that I questioned anything (although I certainly should have) but what is that? Projection? Huh?
Most of what he has said or done I've really been able to understand based on what I am read but that one baffles me. Here's the other. He said he never wanted to speak to me again, then said maybe we could be friends down the road... yadda yadda... I get that he is making sure the door is open should he try to return but here's what I don't get. I went NC almost three weeks ago. (Literally the minute I read about NPD. I sent him a link, said "OMG. This explains everything" and stopped emailing and calling him.) About a week ago, he called (anonymous number but I am 99% sure it was him) and hung up when I answered. He only called once. I'm assuming he was checking to see if I was still alive or something (how could I live without him after all???) but it doesn't sound like hoovering.What's up with the checking up on me? I know some Ns use it as a intimidation technique but it's hardly intimidating if he only does it once. I figured it would send him into a rage - I'm alive and apparently not trying to contact him - but if it did, he must be silently raging.
I'm still missing my "friend" but it's a lot easier when I remind myself he wasn't really who I thought he was. He had been grooming me for 18 years, I am lucky it ended how it did.
I would love some input! Thank you!