Narcisstic Rage?

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#1 Jan 24 - 1PM
Maggster
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Narcisstic Rage?

Thanks to everyone for your both your support and encouragement as I am trying to move forward with my recovery. Once the OW woman & I compared notes and recognized we were both dealing with a N, we shared a lot of stories, texts, etc. She walked away and never looked back but told me of a situation that had occurred between them. He is a very brilliant writer and his texts & e-mails all have an incredibly seductive tone. Following an D&D with her he tried to resume the relationship and she told him she was sick of his behavior and his FUCKING POETIC BULLSHIT! They of course, returned to one another, and later joked together about what she coined as "FPBS". I have been continually trying to figure out this man. I decided to ask him what FPBS stood for. Here are his responses:

"Fucking Poetic Bullshit. Why, for gods sake are you reading all that? It’s done. Over. Please , stop torturing yourself. That cunt! I swear, that’s one person that I would love to kill!" I did not respond-

His next text was: "No response to my animosity towards her? You must know that I’ve killed. Never talked about it and am haunted by the thoughts, but she would be the exception. I’m sorry. I’m not a good person.
But do you see that I have? Do you see what she’s done? She’s rubbed salt, dirt and mud into our wound. I’m sorry but she crossed the threshold of being a decent, compassionate human. She wanted to hurt you and she succeeded with flying colors.
Don’t be scared. I’m not going to harm anyone. I’ve done enough damage to so many people-you, my wife, my enemies- all I want is peace. And it’s only with you that I’ve found it. Do you understand that, Its only you that matters to me. You."

Lastly he wrote-
"Not Pleasant. As my Doug (his therapist) would say, I’ve repressed my emotions. But that doesn’t make me a nut, I’ve just internalized it. What do you make of all of this psychobabble? Internalize, compartmentalize, suppress, ya da ya da! Is it just bullshit?
People do things in their lives, good or bad, and they have to live with their choices and move on. Is that too simple a philosophy? Do you know that you are my best friend?"

Is this what is refereed to as Narcissistic rage? He was most often very gentle but the more I think about it, the more times I can remember that he reacted so angrily and inappropriately at the most benign issues...

Jan 24 - 3PM
Hunter
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Oh God.. I'm reliving narc #

Oh God.. I'm reliving narc # 1 " The French Man" Only till narc #2 did I realize what the French man was all about.. He too was a poet.. He used his words to twist and turn like the Master Manipulator he is.. Trying to figure out " scrambled eggs" ( how's that for poetry) is not worth a damn.. Now double that with twisted script ... It makes your head spin like Linda Blaire.. These idiots do have talent .. Too bad they use it spew venmon !!! Liars,User& Losers.. Hunter
Jan 24 - 2PM
spinning
spinning's picture

Maggs, this guy is pure

evil. He's a master. His so-called grand "way with words" is nothing but a good vocabulary that he deploys to manipulate. Please note in this series of texts the tactics he uses: Number one, FEAR. His oh so big and dramatic admission that you must know "he has killed before." He then uses victimization. He (and your relationship with him) is the poor, poor victim of this terrible, evil other woman who he was fucking and who had the audacity to tell you the truth. Note that he didn't hurt you by fucking her, SHE hurt you by telling you the truth about his FPBS, which is exactly what it is. He's such a poor, poor victim of his own bad little self, too. He's done so much damage to his wife and to his "enemies" but not to you...Still, he's "haunted..." what BS!!! So then he throws in the psycho-babble...the sure indicator of his poor, self-reflective, self-aware and oh so sensitive self...his therapist! Of course, he's stuffed and compartmentalized his own feelings and it's just torture! Oh, he just wants peace! (Read how come you keep asking me these questions about my lies?) Then he brings up the FEAR factor just to make sure you're not on an even-keel. "Don't be scared I'm not going to harm anyone..." REALLY? WTF! What is it, exactly, that he's doing then? Helping you? He comes closest to the truth right here: "People do things in their lives, good or bad, and they have to live with their choices and move on. Is that too simple a philosophy?" You MUST BELIEVE THIS MAGGS. HE IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF. HE IS TELLING YOU HIS ATTITUDE ABOUT THESE THINGS. HIS APPROACH. HIS BELIEFS. BUT WHEN HE REALIZES WHAT HE JUST SAID HE HAS TO MAKE SURE TO ADD THIS TO KEEP YOU SPINNING "Do you know that you are my best friend?" Maggster. He feels you pulling away. Stick with us here. I am telling you I predicted this in my earlier post. Tell him you need space and boundaries and see what happens. His true colors (i.e. blaming, rage, victimization, etc. etc. anything EXCEPT owning up to the fact that he's simply a selfish, f'ed up man who thinks he can sleep with anyone he wants whenever he wants and then go home to his wife.) This exchange amazes me in its blatant manipulation. He's really not that good. I see a pathetic aging man who is willing to say anything and everything to make himself look wounded, sensitive and oh so caring and loving in your eyes. He's a predator...and somewhat of an accomplished one at that. He has met his match here, Maggs. Keep sharing. The truth of it will continue to reveal itself to you. Hugs from (not) spinning. BUT WISHING I COULD SEND THIS PATHETIC MANIPULATOR SPINNING RIGHT OFF THE PLANET

spinning

Jan 24 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
TNR1
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Just to add...I love how he

Just to add...I love how he places his peace squarely on your shoulders: "all I want is peace. And it’s only with you that I’ve found it. Do you understand that, Its only you that matters to me. You" Really...is that why he is still with his wife? Is that why he tells OW that you will not leave? He is not saying that because you ARE all that matters..he is saying that because HE is all that matters and he wants you to continue to feed him with supply and not leave him. I agree with Spinning...ask him for space and see how he responds. If you matter..he will grant you space and wait patiently...but I predict that you will see his true colors and they won't be pleasant. I do think you need to do this Maggster..if only to really see him for who he truly is.
Jan 24 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
midnight7
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Such a wonderful analysis -

Spinning - such a wonderful analysis - absolutely perfect!
Jan 24 - 2PM
Used
Used's picture

Maggster

Everything he has written and said to you...he has written and said to her......exn called me a lying cxxt to his OW, and called her a lying cxxt to me... he told me she was a liar and trying to split us up,and i have no doubt he told OW that too....everything they say, double it ,triple it, quadruple it...and then you might have some idea how many women he is telling the same thing to.... Tho this has triggered me.... I AM GLAD THATS WHAT HELPS KEEP ME.NC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 24 - 2PM
fallingfoward
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doesn't surprize me

It doesn't suprize me she went back to him. I met the other ow , we also compare notes, then a couple of days later I got angry texts from her. He use the same line on her, she trying to hurt us, because I don't want to be with her. Even though the truth was in front of her. She'll live in that denial, till she decides to see the truth. She's in the honeymoon stage, just like we were. My narc ex0w stalked us at first (he's back with her), I thought she was crazy. If she would have talk to me, I'm sure I would have stayed with him even then. I dealt with his rage whenever he was confronted. The last confrontion, he tried to hit me. They're right on this site, it just gets worse with them, or you have to live in denial and lose you're soul. I'm new here, I'm sure the others have advice. Sorry, to hear you are goin through this.