Narcs and their moms

This goes into scary territory. How mortifying. The N I've known thankfully doesn't have an incestuous past. There's nothing physical there, more of a mind-related, manipulative type. I suspect his mother is likely more of an enabler and co-dependent type. Perhaps why we clicked so well. Not good. N shares a bank account with his mother. A bit odd for an older man, I should think. In a sense, that seems perverse, to me.

his mother did some wrong psrenting of the narc and i mentioned that to him in a recent letter, he went nuts and told me i was impinging on her characater and i said nothing of the sort, but that i felt he didn't get the unconditional love he sought from her, som ething weird went on between the two of them, will never know. He has had 5 failed relation ships and still blames all the women, he is totally innocent....RIGHT sent me a letter totally blaming me fore the demise of our relationship., NUTSO he will never look within HIMSELF

Again. His mother: 1. Slapped his ass in front of me 2. Would playfully pull on his chest/arm hair...also in front of me (I don't know what little gems of affection were saved for their "alone" time) 3. Flirted with his friends and dressed like a whore around them. 4. Came into our house without calling or knocking and stayed for days 5. Bought him underwear (ewww) 6. Would walk into our bedroom while we were sleeping to wake us up like it was a fucking slumber party. I don't know if every g/f of his had a problem with her, but I do know she never mentioned a single one of them to me...which means none of them were close to her...he did confess that one broke up with him because of her. I would say it's a safe assumption that they all had issues with that troll. Who wouldn't? She's a sleazy pig who is very threatened by any female of any import in his life...I was definitely the biggest threat she'd ever faced. I'm glad to be rid of the mentally stunted pair of them.

It's called emotional incest. I brought this subject up with him years ago thinking that he would see the light and help himself out of it (he was in therapy at the time). No way Jose. He stuck even more to her like glue and is deeper in the mire with her nowadays as she is retired so clings/relies on him more. She evens speaks in a little girl voice a lot of the time - truly nauserous. Their relationship has been an issue with every woman he has been involved with. They all hated her and their creepy togetherness. He loved to tell his tale of "little boy lost" and "look at me - I'm a victim" to every woman he ever came into contact with. Your post hit the nail on the head : I guess the causes are irrelevant because they are the first steps towards creating a "victim" out of the narcissist. Next thing you know you're feeling sorry for him, making excuses for his behavior, and lock yourself into this idea that you can "help him". There is plenty of information on the net about Ns and EI - please protect yourself for the future. Dee x