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Nicknames for our Narcs (aka, "Narknames")

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#1 Oct 5 - 3PM
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Nicknames for our Narcs (aka, "Narknames")

I've seen some pretty funny pseudonyms people use here when talking about their Narcs -- I thought it'd be amusing to start a list.

My narc likes to dress up in Victorian costume, with top hat and duster, and all that crap. He thinks he looks very dapper that way. I think he looks like Jack the Ripper, ergo, my nickname for him, JTR (or sometimes "Jack" or just "Ripper").

What do you call yours?

Oct 7 - 11PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Here's some more-

Beret Boy- This was a term I coined for the ex-Psych prof my freshman year. Like a Rodgers&Hammerstein musical, it deserves a big Broadway revival. He tried killing my sense of humor. Unfortunately, to quote a B horror movie, IT LIVES. Fat Boring Professor- Another term for the ex-P. Let's be blunt&to the point. When I remember how BORING he is, then maintaining NC is easy.
Oct 8 - 2AM (Reply to #61)
meik11
meik11's picture

I called mine Robocop...

I called mine Robocop... perfect for the detective with no feelings or emotions and the same moves!...
Oct 6 - 11PM
sciencegirl
sciencegirl's picture

Is this wretched?

Douchebag!
Oct 6 - 5PM
la.luna
la.luna's picture

I use the Angry Inch for

I use the Angry Inch for mine, but Hannibal and Lucifer are fitting as well.
Oct 6 - 2PM
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

There's one from the Dilbert

There's one from the Dilbert cartoons I quite like: The Fertiliar. (Bear in mind what fertiliser is made of)
Oct 6 - 12PM
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

Narknames

General "Betray-us" Mr. Wonderful He Who Shall Not Be Named Babyface
Oct 6 - 3AM
newbegginings
newbegginings's picture

Hilarious girls

After a shitty day of overwhelming sadness, I needed to read this... I have laughed soooo hard. Made me think what I could hang on my gorgeous Narc.. Yes .... This is fitting....SOFT COCK!! Yes gorgeous to look at with a toggle that would forget what it was doing half why thru the job!!! Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa Dickhead timtam x
Oct 5 - 11PM
Sea
Sea's picture

A Worm

He is as pathetic as that.
Oct 5 - 11PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

Huge progress for me

that I could actually laugh at all your fav names! I really did chuckle but still no belly laugh. I remember clearly when joking about this was way too painful for me - thank god for time
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #53)
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

Belly laugh

is coming! Just a little more time :)
Oct 5 - 10PM
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

The best way to describe him is Short Dick Man

Because his equipment was always failing due to inadequate length. The best part of the nickname is that IF he was ever to read about himself on this site (and you know he's far too busy saving the world to do that) he would never recognize himself in print. "Short Dick!? Nah, I'm hung. That couldn't be me." He was delusional like that. I also used the name Bacteria Boy because of the gross little infection he gave me once.
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #44)
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

Hahahahaha!

"He was delusional like that." Friggin hysterical! Mine acknowledged his small penis but told me I would learn to love his lower abdomen... Not so much, Chief...
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #45)
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

Love his lower abdomen?

I don't get it. Narc speak is so confusing to my relatively normal brain.
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #46)
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

I think he was saying that

I think he was saying that his frenzied, totally not hot way of trying to auger me into the ground was a suitable substitute for his lack of substantial penis.. I think. I never did quite figure it out. I just have to say this... On our first date he told me that he had a small penis, was excessively hairy, had herpes, 4 children under the age of 10, had only moved out of his marital home 6 weeks earlier and was an egotistical, self centered, arrogant asshole. Why oh why didn't I run for the hills? Friggin firemen will suck you in every time.
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #50)
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

I know

I will never look at a fireman's calendar the same ever again. I guess the idea of holding a giant hose was attractive to a man who had never had one before.
Oct 6 - 9AM (Reply to #51)
spinning
spinning's picture

OMG Validity Seeker!! This is

HILARIOUS!! This entire thread is a great laugh fest!!!! love it love it love it. I want to add one more to mine, which was FREAK BOY. I also refer to him in my writing journal as PIN DICK :) Hugs to all my sisters and brothers in recovery! (not) spinning. JUST GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR WITH THIS THREAD!!!

spinning

Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #47)
needing2know
needing2know's picture

Gee do you think he is

Gee do you think he is telling all the others about his herpes lol And his small peenie weenie lol , maybe that's why he has so many women, they see that his belly is bigger than his dickie do lol
Oct 6 - 2PM (Reply to #48)
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny peenie

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny peenie weenie... Sing along!
Oct 6 - 6PM (Reply to #49)
newbegginings
newbegginings's picture

So funny.... Polka dot peenie

So funny.... Polka dot peenie weenie.. I'm singing
Oct 5 - 10PM
foreverfun1
foreverfun1's picture

also "Dorkwad"

also "Dorkwad"
Oct 5 - 10PM
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

Hee hee hee

He is forever known as Horse Clippers... Yep, I trimmed his body hair with horse clippers. I called myself Sacagawea because I always felt like Lewis and Clark trying to find ANYTHING underneath all of that hair. My favorite: The guys in the firehouse call him "Tony with an I" Quite fitting for the whiny little bitch he is.
Oct 6 - 6PM (Reply to #41)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

More names for the hairy one-

Hairy Potter Shaggy Mata Hairy The theme song of the musical "Hair"
Oct 5 - 10PM (Reply to #36)
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Ahahahaha!!! Sounds like you

Ahahahaha!!! Sounds like you had a regular Sasquatch on your hands, there!
Oct 5 - 10PM (Reply to #37)
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

The only place he didn't have

The only place he didn't have hair was on his ass... A sight to see, that's for sure. If I was drinking, I would laugh uncontrollably watching him walk to the bathroom after sex and told him it was an after effect of orgasm. And he believed it.
Oct 5 - 11PM (Reply to #38)
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Oh God, I'm dying. I thought

Oh God, I'm dying. I thought this thread would be good for a laugh but I had NO idea! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!
Oct 6 - 6AM (Reply to #39)
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

So true!

I need to print this whole thread out! Okay, now I'm onto nicknames for the hairy one, even though he wasn't mine. Yeti Cousin It Wolfman Jacknut
Oct 6 - 11PM (Reply to #40)
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

Yay

Yay Cousin It!
Oct 5 - 10PM
foreverfun1
foreverfun1's picture

i always refer to him in

i always refer to him in texts as AH (asshole)
Oct 5 - 6PM
Crazy Train
Crazy Train's picture

Love this thread! Thank you

Love this thread! Thank you for making me laugh.
Oct 5 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Got two of 'em

He Who Must Not Be Named- This is the name a college classmate of mine&I came up with the ex-Psych prof. The Dark Lord also works, since that name is used for Darth Vader AND Sauron. God's Morbidly Obese Gift to Women- This is for the former Narc coworker. Better to LOL than cry.