nlvr7 *new story*

*new story* checking in hello friends :)

I can't believe I last logged in in June! Hello everyone. Not sure if any of my old friends are still on this site but I just got out a relationship that was seriously MESSED UP and wanted to reinforce some concepts I ignored during my recovery.

As for as the N that drew me to this site ... 9 months post break up he initiated contact again. I admit, I did text back but I felt indifferent. One day I just stopped texting him back and he's made several attempts to meet up since and I have no desire whatsoever.

Six months after my N breakup I met what seemed to be the perfect guy. I just moved back into my own place last weekend and I can tell you what I've went through in my last relationship was way worse than what I went through with the N.

Now, the most recent guy, I'll call him Jack - not sure he is a N because he does seem to have maybe a little bit of empathy. But he is bat sh*t CRAZY.

Complete idealization phase. Had his car imported. Never been in love before. And oh he showered me with everything - affection, presents, I was on cloud 9.

About a month in I wondered why I had never been to his apartment or seen a race. He was quick to show me lease paperwork and said he was letting a friend and his girlfriend who was pregnant share the studio space with him. OKAY WHY WOULD A SUCCESSFUL GUY HAVE A STUDIO?

I felt shallow for thinking this so I forced myself to believe this.

I never saw a race. Suddenly he said his "sponsors" pulled out of a lot of events and he would be having a slow racing season. He would bring me racing swag, I wonder where he got it.

He said his name was Jack Black (fake name but you'll understand why I'm saying this here in a minute). One time when I caught him pulling out his ID his name was actually xxxx Hmm.... big fight #1... why did you lie about your name? Answer: The guys name on my birth certificate isn't my real dad. OKAY YEAH RIGHT!!

It was because I hadn't recovered from my first N relationship that I got suckered and conned into this relationship because I still needed an external source of happiness.

So we moved in together.

And then the fights started. His anger was UNREAL. He pushed me down the stairs. Police were called several times.

He had two children with a woman he was unmarried to. He called her every name in the book and treated his mother horribly. He was controlling and I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time.

Then one day, out of the blue, I get an email on FB from one of his exes. he had basically lied to me about everything. And the cherry on top... I guess before he met me he had met some girl online and MARRIED her after TWO WEEKS. She then filed for divorce because of the abuse. Even when I had pictures of the marriage ceremony Jack tried to tell me it was a "practical joke gone to far" and "not to believe his psycho ex" who "was just out to ruin his life"

I broke up with him 15 TIMES! He would always beg for me back. He would say he booked vacations then get angry when I would ask to see an itinerary.

He lied about so many things that seem crazy to lie about. For example, when we met he talked about having a dog he had to put to sleep because even though he spent thousands of dollars on training him he bit another dogs throat at a park trying to protect him.

Turns out the ex gf has that dog and sent me pics of him. I was so relieved that dog was okay! And do you know what Jack said? "That wasn't the dog I was talking about, yes the have the same name, but that dog was after my dog was put to sleep" Yah okay buddy with the same markings and everything?

His whole family hates him, he has burned his bridges with everyone. His only friend is a loser who treats women like crap.

After the last and final breakup he begged me to be friends with him because he "couldnt breather without me" and oh the tears! I said fine and he tells me after our breakup he had been talking to a girl and asked if I wanted to see her pics. Before I even answered he shows me pictures of her, naked pictures of her in thongs etc. I started crying because that was totally rude! He then said that the pics were actually his friends girlfriends and he wanted to see if I still cared.....

The next day I took what little information I had (first name and place of employment) and reached out to some friends and confirmed she was who he said she was and she was NOT his friends GF. I'm thankful I'm connected. So the one thing he was truthful about was cheating?

This recovery is different from my last N breakup. Because I'm not heartbroken. I've been emotionally out of this relationship for a while and now I'm just getting used to being happy again. This guy was a pathological liar and frankly he scares the hell out of me.

I could go on and on with more lies... but I think you get the point.

Listen to the mods, and wait at least a couple of years before getting involved because your judgment will be completely messed up.

Hope everyone is well xoxo