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NPD and asbergers

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#1 Jan 28 - 7AM
lulub
lulub's picture

NPD and asbergers

Has anyone dealt with someone who has been diagnosed with NPD and asbergers together? Getting desperate! I have always let him make me believe I am crazy, for 25+ years!! I will be crazy if I don't get away soon! Money is a huge issue right now. He has poisoned my adult children and has fooled a lot of people, but in private he borders on evil towards me. In public he acts like an angel. Help

Jan 31 - 8PM
ValiditySeeker
ValiditySeeker's picture

Aspergers

People with Adpergers are terrible at reading others' moods and don't know what they need so they suck as partners. The thing with NPD is that although they don't empathize with us, they absolutely study us and learn where our weaknesses lie. They use this info against us to hurt us and to gain control of us. People with Aspergers are not similarly motivated. They don't study us. They study how to act normal but they usually still cone off as awkward but don't know why. When they hurt us, you can bet it's unintentional. I think NPDers are only socially awkward because they don't empathize with people and get lost in conversations because they can't figure out how to care. It would be rare to have both... In fact, I think impossible?? You're either hurtful to others on purpose because you get a kick out of it or on accident because you weren't aware of how your behavior affects people. Can it be both? I don't know everything but I think not.
Feb 1 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
faith999
faith999's picture

Thank you for this Validity Seeker

Someone very close to my heart has aspergers and I wanted to reply to this post but was unsure how to word it. You stated it perfectly and succinctly in a way that I couldn't have.
Jan 31 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
lulub
lulub's picture

NPD and aspergers

I didn't get it either until the doc explained there are many different forms of aspergers and varying degrees. He was able to describe this behavior without me telling him anything. I am overwhelmed and want to run away!
Jan 31 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

I just

I just wanted to add that exN's 2nd ex-wife suspected him of having Asperger's. It's interesting to note how often Asperger's comes up in conversation here, in correlation to N. I'm not really clear on Asperger's though. Even some of the definitions are vague and leave me with more questions than answers.
Jan 31 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
lulub
lulub's picture

Asperbers and NPD

The doc who diagnosed said there are many forms of aspergers with varying degrees, very complicated. He was able to tell me the Narc's behavior without me telling him a thing.
Jan 30 - 3PM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

OH HO HO! I KNOW exactly what

OH HO HO! I KNOW exactly what you are going through. I seriously suspect that the NARC/pimp also is high functioning aspergers (except that he's not remotely intelligent...he tends more to "baffle em with bullshit") Fixations, social awkwardness, ticks (like twitching his feet NON stop) food rituals, blurting extremely inappropriate comments. His son has Aspergers and ADHD. I've even asked the NARC/pimp if he thought he might have undiagnosed aspergers and he agreed he has wondered about it himself (but then he's a hypochondriac and LOVES being "unwell") Non the less he's rotten individual and I don't care what's wrong with him. I didn't break him and I don't have to fix him. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Deep down you KNOW it. Think about it...it's him...not you. Let me tell you...I've seen that frik'n "Charles Manson" look in his kids eyes. It's EVIL...something else besides aspergers is wrong with his family.
Jan 31 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
lulub
lulub's picture

NPD and asbergers

Oh thank you!! Thank God it's not just me! My Narc's feet twitch all the time too, you liberated me with the statement I didn't break him so I don't have to fix him. He even asked me one time why I didn't help him mature when I realized what I had gotten myself in to about 3 years after we were married. We were 30 years old so we were not kids, not in chronological age anyway. I told him I had 3 sons to raise and it was his mother's job to raise him not mine. I have always let him convince me I was crazy and needed help, he told me once he was going to OUR marriage counselling sessions to help me- I need to make up new swear words for that one, the one's I know aren't strong enough! This Narc's eyes are blank, like looking into a wall of flat paint. He is honestly baffled by why I can't decide (head decision) to love him. I need to run!
Jan 28 - 7AM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

PLEASE RUN, LOCK THE DOOR

It's your life. There are more important things than money! Like your sanity, safety, and life. It's hard and scary, but it's worth it. Don't waste one more day of your life. Jen
Jan 31 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
lulub
lulub's picture

NPD and asbergers

So true! Thank you! I can't stand it another day. I can't worry about what outsiders think, I am worried about my grown sons. I hope to God this isn't genetic, I don't see these traits in my sons but they are so crafty at hiding them.