OMG HELP ME JUST FOUND HIM ON MATCH.COM and FLIPPED ON HIM

...you could have been 100% perfect and he'd do the same thing. read everyone elses - when things are good, you're at the greatest risk of D&D. a year ago, mine went on Match.com just weeks after i broke my engagement to another guy because he couldn't live without me and was telling his friend (i think he has one) that we were getting married. i couldn't breathe either. stop telling him how much you love him. he LOVES that, it has no positive effect on how he feels about you, in fact it makes him want you less. as sick as that is, it's true. my N lives on the jersey shore too. are u local??

I shared the same background as you did with this man, so I feel the tremendous tremendous hope that you hung on to, this was the man that was going to rescue you from your awful marriage, this was the man that you should have ALWAYS been with, this was the man that came into your life and gave you what you have wanted and waited for ALL YOUR LIFE. I know those feelings, we not only kept those visions and hopes in our heart we also became trauma bonded to them - our way of coping when its an overload on our system. In my 20 some years of marriage I never really counted on a man entering my life and SAVING ME but what I did want was someone that was more compatible with me, who was tender, gentle, just the OPPOSITE of what my husband is, and I FOUND HIM with the narcopath I found that with this narc. Fist you must always remember IT IS NOT the narcs fault our marriages are not good, wait a minute hear me out I know what you are thinking...... but he promised me this and that and wanted to be with me, bla bla bla.. STILL NOT HIS FAULT we have dysfunctional marriages LONG BEFORE they came into our lives. Yes I agree they used this as the hook and bait to get us to enter a relationship with them it was much easier for them to go after injured and lonely women, BUT BUT BUT what are we left with PG? We are left with what we had before they came into our lives and THAT my friend is OUR responsibility to take care of, NOT HIS. It is a bitter bitter bitter fact but it is the truth. Yes they KNEW we were married, but they also knew we were NOT happy in our marriages, they COUNT ON THAT so they can offer these women something better, something they long for, something they KNOW theses women want and need and that is ATTENTION, CHARM, GREAT SEX, false promises of hope, some flattery, attentiveness - but if you stop and see THEIR wives, and THEIR Girlfriends its the very thing they dont give them EITHER in the long haul. My husband is one abusive controlling SOB, but if I want WORSE ABUSE all I have to do is go to the KING of abusers and that is seek out a narco path (that is what I call them) They will cheat on you, lie to you, and play very very dangerous painful games with your life, they will USE you for supply, they will treat you like a fricking broken toaster. Lets say you arent married and you are out there single and divorced - would you want a man like that? Separate the thoughts of your dysfunctional marriage and this con man that came back into your life, one has NOTHING to do with the other PG, regardless of what he once promised you - all the I LOVE YOU's, YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE - if he was the love of your life he would go through FIRE to be with you, this man IS NOT your long lost love PG, and either is mine from 25 years back. They are both sexual predators and highly skilled con men in their personal life and business life as well. They will use anybody and anything to get their needs met. So honey you see even if you were 100% available to him this WOULD NOT be the healthy partner for you EVER, they do not have healthy relationships with ANYBODY, I doubt very much my husband calls other women and says ewww baby I want your pussy, you are the love of my life, as I doubt your husband participates in fraudulent business dealings. These guys have FRAUD and LOW CHARACTER written all over them. Dont be angry with what you found of FB, BE GLAD it is not you he is still conning and that we have made the decision to make healthy and right and moral choices in our lives that can ONLY lead to true happiness.

I had to respond to this post as I remember that day back in september when I found him on match.com after having him tell me he loves me and its not over. I remember that exact feeling I literally could not breath. His user name was just a nice guy. You see they really are all the same. That was in september and by march he was engaged . Last week I googled him and found the opening of his new bar that he got the idea for when he was with me. In the article he mentioned time frames which he was stll telling me he loved me and he was with her. It also mentioned how meeting his girlfriend was a Life changing event (those were the words I used when I told him that my husband said that when he met me). When I told him I enjoyed boating still (we did that when we were younger a lot) what did he do? went out and bought a boat. When I took him to my favorite place to hang out what did he do built a place just like it. He literally has stolen parts of my personality. There will be no more googling for me it only brings pain. Don't do it anymore. What you don't know can't hurt you. I am so sorry. As I said. I had to respond as I remember that horrible feeling when I found him on match.com and again last week when I saw the article and a pic of him with 10 women sitting on the bar. They were all ugly and my friend said damn must be a shortage of women out there lol. Don't do it anymore it takes a lot. Of self discipline. I think in my case I think I had to be hurt bad enough by sometthing I saw to make me stop. I will probably never google him again as it hurt me so bad I never want to take the chance of seeing something like that again

I had to respond to this post as I remember that day back in september when I found him on match.com after having him tell me he loves me and its not over. I remember that exact feeling I literally could not breath. His user name was just a nice guy. You see they really are all the same. That was in september and by march he was engaged . Last week I googled him and found the opening of his new bar that he got the idea for when he was with me. In the article he mentioned time frames which he was stll telling me he loved me and he was with her. It also mentioned how meeting his girlfriend was a Life changing event (those were the words I used when I told him that my husband said that when he met me). When I told him I enjoyed boating still (we did that when we were younger a lot) what did he do? went out and bought a boat. When I took him to my favorite place to hang out what did he do built a place just like it. He literally has stolen parts of my personality. There will be no more googling for me it only brings pain. Don't do it anymore. What you don't know can't hurt you. I am so sorry. As I said. I had to respond as I remember that horrible feeling when I found him on match.com and again last week when I saw the article and a pic of him with 10 women sitting on the bar. They were all ugly and my friend said damn must be a shortage of women out there lol. Don't do it anymore it takes a lot. Of self discipline. I think in my case I think I had to be hurt bad enough by sometthing I saw to make me stop. I will probably never google him again as it hurt me so bad I never want to take the chance of seeing something like that again

This is so tough I know.... but breaking NC only has bad consequences upon yourself... PLease get back onto that wagon, dust yourself off and try again... This guy has nothing good to offer you....it's tough on your heart, but good for the soul hang on in there babe, Take good care and NC xxxx

You need to have NO CONTACT, No FB, don't look for him on Match.com or any sites, you need to block him!! Its the way to get through, do not torture yourself, he is doing that to you already so you need to remove yourself from the equation for good. Its a long road but only way to recover...there is nothing you can do or say, or did or said in the past that brought you to this point. It was inevitable, they are not capable of a real relationship. But, I found mine on Match.com after our first breakup. He did tell me he went on there but I figured because we were working things out that he would have taken himself off....nope!! He had the nerve to post a picture that I took from our weekend away 3 days before I saw him on there!!. I went on there too after our breakup but was planning to take myself off. This is while he was at my house every day, telling me how much he loved me, taking me and my kids away and pretending we had a real family. He was looking for NS on that site (and now looking back I'm sure there were many more). I didn't know he was a Narc at the time. I couldn't (wasn't ready) to leave him, there were too many benefits, but I woke up and realized I couldn't sell my soul and put up with the crap anymore. Stay Strong!!

The only one getting hurt is u! What he is doing is none of your business! What he is doing is living the life of a narcissist! These people have a personality disorder! Professionals can't figure it out so why r u trying? You have 2 boys! Take care of them and focus on your life! Hunter

Beautie!! if youre going to break nc this is the way to do it !.. excelent use of the phrase "you mother fucking lying piece of shit " .. the good news is he will be left in no doubt that the door is closed to him . thats it now PG NC for life , block him deleat him off fb and out of youre life .. cry it out , get angry and heal ... It will take time , stay with us .. anger really is youre friend at the moment .. Big love xxx

You're hurting yourself only. I'm so sorry but you are! You are not going to get through to this man. EVER! He loves that you IM'd him and are in pain! They love it!! Gives them this sense of empowerment. Like they have the biggest c-ck in the world that you can't live without. Please block him from facebook and stay off of match. It's for your own benefit so you can feel better. It's not helping you. Big Hugs