ONE MONTH NC HAS GIVEN ME ALL THE ANSWERS

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#1 Feb 24 - 7PM
neverlookback
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ONE MONTH NC HAS GIVEN ME ALL THE ANSWERS

ONE MONTH NC HAS GIVEN ME ALL THE ANSWERS

"I had a relationship with a psychopath"!!! I say that now with a different perspective than when I said it while involved with him. It has a different impact on me now that I am out. What I feel in my heart now is freedom from a sick bondage that took away all meaning to my life and existence. I suffered because of his disorder he inflicted on me. That is the choice we make when we stay with them, to live a life of continual emotional pain or free yourself and live a life that is among those that are NOT pathologically disordered.

There were some pretty exciting things that came with their pathology (for awhile anyway) but unfortunately you get the WHOLE NASTY Package with them, the good side (which they never really had) fades away pretty fast, anything you thought was SOOOO wonderful in the relationship always goes away, did you ever wonder WHY? Because it was never REAL thats why ladies, and what was real is what you get stuck with in the middle, to the very end, that part stays because THAT is the ONLY part that is real. Truth being the real man you have always been with has always been a rotten, mean, lying, cheating, perverted SOB. The truth always prevails sooner or later, just like anything foreign in your body will work it self out or get infected. They are foreign and if you stay with them sooner or later you will get infected so to speak.

Feels good to get rid of the infection he personally gave my life for so many years. Stay NC ladies, its the only way to get healthy again x0x0x0

Feb 25 - 10AM
victimnomore
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No Contact

After 6 months of NC I know exactly what I am married to. A Psycho and Narc! The mask will not last and you are so right neverlookback they are truly evil and the longer we are away from them the clearer this will become to us. Whenever I think about breaking NC I remember the pain in the early days and I know that I don't ever want to feel that way again. Actually I don't ever want to see him again and we have a child together but so far God has answered my prayers and kept him away from me no matter what childish game he try to play I am sticking to my guns! Congrats on 1 month NC!

victimnomore

Feb 25 - 6AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Congrats on your N/C

Isn't it amazing how we begin to clear up and see the truth when we go N/C? It's like the light switch comes back on. Wonderful to hear your perspective on the way it "really was." Woohoo N/C put's us back in the driving seat. Goldie
Feb 25 - 5AM
alittledark
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NLB

I am still on the path to healing too. Day 5 of NC!!!! Will keep trying as well.

I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller

Feb 24 - 9PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Neverlookback

This is wonderful to hear! I'm so happy for you. Thank you for sharing with everyone here. You are an inspiration! xoxo
Feb 24 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Thank you Lisa

Being an inspiration is painful though, ha ha I dont feel very inspiring at times because it takes an effort 24-7 to keep moving forward. I know when I read on this forum my pain is and was shared by others in the SAME EXACT way - it brought so many good women together for such a good cause. Thank you x0
Feb 24 - 8PM
Sherbear
Sherbear's picture

NLB!!

This is so awesome to read!! I can hear the clarity and healing happening. It helps me to sort my feelings out to! Thanks you for sharing and keep up the excellent work! I felt infected too, it's so hard to try to explain how I felt.... in a dark, dark tunnel...cut off from everyone and the world. I remember one day early on after the d & d.... looking out my front window and it was like I was looking at myself from another person's view (weird i know!)....and it was like I could see the darkness beside me and literally it was like I was sucked out of it...I was now seperate from the darkness....I wasn't in it anymore. It's so hard to explain...but I knew then that God was healing me. And I began to have hope that I would get beyond this and find true peace in my life.
Feb 24 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Sherbear

You ARE literally in a dark dark hole, where everything around you is DEAD and you have lost all desire for anything - that is the result of being infected by them, hurt by them, damaged by them - thats what happens when people with a conscience try to love someone that doesnt have one. In other words we can help the mentally ill people who truly cant help it but NEVER NEVER try and love or help a person who knows wrong from right but WILL NEVER CARE, that is the difference. That makes them truly evil. You will heal Sherbear, I guarantee you that, stay far away from who ever did this to you, there is no hope for them now or ever. x0x0
Feb 24 - 8PM
sara-smile
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neverlookback

Thank you for the inspiration! I'm so proud of you and envious! NC is so hard for me. Most of the time I break NC when I'm angry! I just can't keep my mouth shut when I'm mad. It's not the sweet sappy bullshit that gets me anymore. It's the stupid crap! Got any tips for my hard head and raging mouth? :) Sara
Feb 24 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
neverlookback
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Got any tips for my hard head and raging mouth? :)

YES, KEEP IT QUIET!!!! ha ha Remember they like ANY kind of reaction from you, from rage to loving, they dont care they are supply junkies. When you are loving to them they think we are stupid, when we get mad they laugh because they know they caused us stress and misery, SILENCE IS GOLDEN, SILENCE is the best message you could ever give him and its the LOUDEST message of all, they arent worth a tear, rage, NOTHING, its a PERMANENT STONEWALLING, you are telling them THEY DO NOT EXIST and that is just about the worst treatment you can give another human being. TRY IT, IT WORKS X0X0
Feb 24 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

neverlookback

I have a really big problem with keeping it quiet! HA! I'm made a promise to myself tonight to not react no matter what he says. No matter how bad he insults me I will shut my mouth! I realized yesterday that every time I react it just hurts ME more. He's getting satisfaction from my pain AGAIN! I finally get that his ego takes a MAJOR hit when I ignore him. I shouldn't care but that part feels good. It gives me control and takes it away from him. FOR ONCE! Me ignoring him is torture but the down side is he just digs in harder. Cross your fingers and say a prayer for me because I will ignore him awful comments no matter what! Is punching him in the mouth considered breaking NC? :) Thanks so much! Again....Congrats!
Feb 25 - 12AM (Reply to #6)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Sara

LOL, you are just like me! Bite your tongue, it Is difficult,but with a Narc, silence is your weapon!
Feb 24 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

NLB

That makes three Today. Three's a charm!! Do I hear Four???? WAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Idealk
Feb 25 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

The best weapon ever devised is SILENCE

4 =)

stay~strong