I too suffer from some similar issues...one is confirmed, not necessarily autoimmune the other because of lack of scientific study is in "limbo" in terms of diagnosis but all the signs point there and that alone makes this all the more maddening because for me, I felt very weak a lot of the time and it was almost as if he treated me like i was faking, no empathy at all and that really really stung. Because the rest of the world has a hard time with invisible illnesses anyway!..
In terms of being madly in love with him...I note you said that he moved last summer, I'm not sure if you are officially NC but how long has it been from your perspective that you've been apart and if it's been a while I understand why he's still in your mind and heart, but are you able to articulate why you are having a hard time letting go?
We stayed in contact as if we were girlfriend and boyfriend for months and even planned a visit. He then stopped calling so I was freaking out all Fall but we were still texting all through Dec. He cut off all contact on New Years. It was then I discovered the FB picture in early Jan. I went NC until I called him in early March at his job. I wrote about that - it was sort of good to talk since we never officially broke up (he just cut off with no explanation).
He sounded very very sad and remorseful - said he missed me and never called me or contacted me again. I texted him to let him know where I am (even though he does not care - I guess it is habit like out of respect that he does not deserve). He is doing really well now I think after a bad stretch of unemployment...I think he thinks he is big stuff again and does not need me.
My breakup was kinda in that pattern too...it is so confusing to even explain the timeline...I think about how I share sometimes and I say things that are not even in a normal progression! Just more testament to the disordered relationship I guess.
I read somewhere that they actually discard you before telling you, months can go by and you have no idea you've been discarded - they forget to tell you...but shortly thereafter, that is when they start acting out, and there we are trying to fix things, but have no idea we've already been dumped, they just decided we weren't worth being put on notice.
S.O.B's!
They absolutely can make you sick! I've been sick for over eight weeks this winter with four different colds and flu.
I get severe back spasms and headaches too.
I quaked more in his presence than the geysers out by Geyserville&Yellowstone combined. I *SHOOK* that much when I was in the ex-Psych professor's presence. We'd be having lunch together, and my body would tighten, I'd literally be shaking. Yeah, I never got relaxed enough to have sex with him... I was *THAT* nervous.
What's weird is that when I was casually dating, I didn't feel that nervous. I'd watch movies&be cuddling on a couch with a guy... and I didn't feel that much trepidation.
Shaking wasn't my post-Narc symptom. I had it while I was with him.
During the final D&D, I was losing sleep&weight... and he was getting drunk around students&getting paunchy...
I'm glad you are feeling better! Physical symptoms with my Narc? YES!! I honestly have been sick since I met him. I've had surgeries and multiple tests done. The stress from a relationship with a Narc will cause all kinds of things to happen to your body. When I see his number on my caller ID it causes major stomach pains. Since you don't have as much contact with him anymore that is why you are feeling better. These men are toxic to our minds and bodies!
Sara
Yes only child, I also got sick I was with my N for 2.4 years, he broke off with me in April 2010 in a 30 second telephone call. I had the usual weight loss, I could not eat or sleep and was in shock, then depression, I later got a bad sinus infection with severe cough in August! Then I started to bleed with my period for a whole two months, very, very, heavy and I had a D&C, by the time I had the surgery at the end of Sept. I was probably 105lbs, but I'm back up now to about 120lbs and healthy, in the gym and eating! If you can't sleep, try yoga and melatonin, it's natural. I think our bodies just react negatively because we are in such a state of shock when this happens. Good luck!
I've never had panic attacks in the past, but I am sure I had one last night while sleeping. I dream every night of the exN. Usually the dream is a fiction scenerio but he's involved, and it always involves me being very, very angry. Much angrier than I ever let myself express in "real" life. Last night, I woke up because of the chest pains, the difficulty breathing, and a sense of terror. I know it stemmed from the dream, but it was very strange to experience that.
It doesn't help that because of the exN breaking up with me, I had to move to quit my job and move to a new city. I'm still looking for a position in my field. I don't sleep well as it is. I get about 3 hours in and then it's off and on until I get up.
After exN broke up with me, I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. I've lost about another 3-4 since then. I was 20 pounds over my "normal" weight anyways, so I was happy to lose the excess. But my interest in eating went to nothing.
Ifinallygotit
he moved in the summer but
Ifnallygotit
shaking
YES!
Yes, absolutely!
Oh man
Constant shaking
Severe Anxiety Attacks
Only Child
Yes...
Panic Attack