please tell me what you think of this

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#1 Feb 23 - 8PM
needing2know
needing2know's picture

please tell me what you think of this

A lady that has known me since I was born talked to me today and asked me how I was doing, I told her everything and she just looked at me and smiled,she told me when someone or something in life causes you that much pain and stress you get rid of it, She then told me she understood how I felt and she was so happy I was able to walk away and never go after him again. She is 80 yrs old and I love her to death! She was a councilor of many many yrs and helped me with my first exN, when he went in for his drug and alcohol abuse as a last ditch resort to get me to stay , she broke the rules and called me to tell me he was bullshitting his way through it and to go forward with my plans to get away. I did just that.
I asked her how she could understand so much about NPD and Narcissism ans all the other stuff. She just looked at me and got teary eyed and said " because honey I use to be you" She lived the abuse but she said back then men were just called "The Devil" She has not seen or heard from him in over 40 yrs! I asked her if he ever tried to contact her again and she said no, even though she had a son with him. I told her that according to research and others they always come back, she said well if that is true she wondered why he didn't ever try. So maybe they all really do not try to come back at one point, maybe there are those very few that just go away for good.
She said that he probably didn't ever try to contact her because she told him if he ever did, she would then hunt him down and cut his little dick off LMFAO!
She never did re marry, she said she made herself happy and no woman should ever have to rely on a man to make her complete!
She told me to tel everyone here to keep our heads up, and keep supporting each other and take care of ourselves, because in the end God will decide their fate! They will b judged if not in this life but the after life.

Feb 24 - 8AM
Redhead
Redhead's picture

What a wise woman...

What a wise woman...
Feb 24 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I think knowledge is

I think knowledge is power.. Lisa, and all of us here, hopefully are getting the same message across.. You live, learn and grow.. Hunter
Feb 24 - 12AM
sohurt12345
sohurt12345's picture

I think

it all depends on their personality. If they were the controlling, abusive type, they will come back at some point. They just can't stand to lose control so they'll let some time pass and make an attempt to regain control on their prey(s). If they are the suave, manipulative type, they will just go away and go on to their next victim.
Feb 23 - 11PM
Phoenix2012
Phoenix2012's picture

Wow!

What an amazing woman! My exN came back a dozen times. It's been 9 weeks of NC thus far--maybe I'm Finally free. At some point I think they give up Thanks for sharing
Feb 23 - 11PM
Lookonthesunnyside
Lookonthesunnyside's picture

Awww..can I meet this woman??

Awww..can I meet this woman?? She sounds so sweet and insightful! And to think that some nasty narc put her through hell too. Infuriating eh? But look at her now. Once when I was still with my ex I was at work and crying over something he'd done. One of my male coworkers accidentally saw me crying and I said my boyfriend was an ass. He patted me on the shoulder and said "dont have people like that in your life, just dont. You dont need them" Simple message but SO TRUE. Just as this woman is saying. What the hell is the point in keeping these people around? Great post...thanks for sharing. Also, I dont think my ex will be coming back. He has contacted me but I think that since I've called him out on being emotionally abusive he will just date other girls who arent onto him. So I dont think they ALL come back.
Feb 23 - 10PM
Krooks
Krooks's picture

I do believe some of them

I do believe some of them just go away. I think mine will. He is not capable of handling rejection at all and I have been fighting his ways for a long while now...maybe I'm crazy to think it. The last period of NC we had for 2 months he initiated. So maybe bc I am more sound now he will come back and try to hurt me - but some part of me knows he will give up and move on. In any event, it's good to hear someone lived through this and lived a happy life after. Made herself complete. I hope we all do - and I hope we each find real love again alone the way - be it w ourselves or w another. Xx
Feb 23 - 10PM
Armed
Armed's picture

What blessing to have her in

What blessing to have her in your life! Hugs!!!!
Feb 23 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
needing2know
needing2know's picture

She truely is a blessing for

She truely is a blessing for sure!