PumpKyn80's story

Hi everyone, Im new here. After reading the experiences on this site I am convinced my ex was an N. I was only involved with him for 3 months but he showed all the traits.

It ended in March, and he has contacted me once in May wanting me back but I told him no. At the time he contacted me I did not know he was an N, so I agreed to be friends with him. However, when he contacted me again I ignored him because after reflecting and thinking about how he treated me so horrible, I decided I wanted nothing to do with him. Based on this forum, I know I made the right choice.

So for me it is actually easy to do the whole NC thing because I have no feelings for him anymore. This "relationship" was the most mind boggling thing ever. Looking back I kick myself because I can't believe I did not run at the sight of these red flags. And like many others I also felt something was just not right. I will just give some examples to you.

1. He came on way too strong in the beginining, texting and calling me every two hours and this was before I even went on a date with him.

2. When I told him I was accepted into a Masters Program, he replied with "oh do you have to go to school? everyone I was involved with who was in school did not have time for me"

3. He would get mad at any critcism I gave, and got angry at me when I called him out on his behavior and get this - I ended up apologizing.

4. Once we slept together, he became distant..and when I pointed it out, all he can say was "You are stressing me out"

5. He would apologize, and yet do the exact same behavior over and over.

6. He did not have any friends, when I went to his birthday get together no friends at all, just family. (his family embraced me probably because they were happy he had a least one friend there).

7. I read somewhere on this forum, that it did not feel like an actual relationship, and that is so true. I did not even introduce him to any of my friends or family because I never knew where we stood.

8. I did all the giving emotionally and he gave nothing. I called him because I had a bad day and just wanted to talk. He told me he would take a shower and call me back and never did. Meanwhile I was always there for him when he needed me.

The breakup was even bizarre: after repeated warnings from me that things need to change or else its over, I did not hear from him in a week. During that time, I reflected and decided enough was enough and I planned on breaking up with him IF/when he contacted me. So he contacts me and says "oh I hope you can forgive me and we can still be friends" before I can even break up with him..I was thinking WTF??? but was glad because I was planning on breaking things off any way.

Then months later he contacts me aplogizing wanting me back, but told him no. I am so happy I came across this site, because it is constantly giving me validation that I made the right decision.