Ran into him - lies, lies more lies.

Oh gosh, what a jerk this one is. All I can say is…when you’re dating a guy. You should not be a costar. You should have the only role. The leading role. This is called crazy making. I’ve read about it. Narcs will tell their victims…’’you are jealous.’’ Then, they do everything in their power…to MAKE the victim jealous. The victim feels jealous and off balance, naturally. Then, the narc will say…’see? You’re jealous. I told you …I can’t live like this.’ If that’s not crazy making, don’t know what is. I am sorry you went through this. I’d change my cell. I’d just go NC. That’s really the only and best option for dealing with a liar, and someone who wants to make you think you’re crazy. Not worth spinning your wheels, and analyzing this. He is text book at what he does. There is a book by Patricia Evans…about emotional abuse. I think that book would greatly help you navigate through some of this.

He said in the text you're better than me, but...There is always a but in a text or message from a buttclown. This is what we always get when we have contact with a narc. Confusion, bad feelings, cognitive dissonance, and bad empty loss feelings. And anger. We can heal without ever talking with them, or seeing them. We have that choice, we can always not answer, always walk away if they show up someplace, always delete without reading, etc. I had the feeling that I had lost, or given up, my power over the narc. That is a lie I told myself. I never had the power to fix the relationship, which is what I really wanted. But I do have complete power to stay away, that is where my power lies. My choice, my responsibility. Nothing wrong with me moaning and groaning about what she said about this or what she did about that...but for my recovery I do need to take ownership of the absolute fact that I can avoid all contact by my choice. In that light I need to see that I am choosing the chaos and pain. Because that is all the narc has to give is pain. When I decide to talk to the narc, I am choosing pain. ds

I have a few doozies to share with you (and because I didn't know about NPD I took him back!!!) My ExN's OW "slept in the other bedroom" when I went to his house one morning after he went to a Patriots game with "friends from work". He was supposed to be at work but was still drunk at 9:30am, boy he woke up quick when he heard his garage door open! Said she was a friend of a friend from work and got drunk and needed somewhere to crash....yeah right! Oh, but the best of the lies over the time we were together was that he was going "golfing" with the guys from work (he has no friends from work and never went golfing). And...he had to refill his prescriptions (Viagra) that morning before he went (he picked a fight the night before so I used sex to get back at him). He had to refill this prescription to go "golfing", really, hmmmmm? Well I was living at his house then so he picked up his scrips, brought them home and I snooped in his drawer after he left. There were 3 pills, not 4 like the bottle said, soooooo he must have taken a pill with him to "golf". That was a day from hell, I lost 2 lbs from the anxiety/panic attack I had. I stayed with friends that night and of course he came home at 12:30am wondering where I was. After begging me to come home for 2 days.. I went back (temporarily) and he told me the pharmacist made a mistake last time and gave him 5 pills so this time she had to give him 3!! OMG are you f'in kidding me???? I was trapped, had no job, me and my kids were staying with him til my house was finished so I had 2 more weeks of hell to endure (thank god he traveled for work). I had to pretend I believed him and when I moved out is when I found the girl in his house and broke up with him. BUT, yes I took him back 2 months later, had no idea about NPD. They are all liars, cheaters and manipulators and mine was a master of the craft! You have educated yourself now Ruby, stay NC!!!

Oh ya u "make" him lie, sleep with ow, mess around!! So sick and hopeless! Spineless as well dont even have the guts to own up! My ex narcky has 35 ow which i discovered "progressively"! Did he ever admit fault? NO! NEVER! I am so so over with his ow and lies. Its as good as telling them they can have him for good!!!

his poor behavior, his cheating (which apparently he has been doing for a while) is all YOUR FAULT. How very convenient for him that you are to blame for his lying to you! Of course it's never, ever him and his selfish, narcish nature. No way could it be that he's a liar and a cheater and a manipulator who was/is willing to toss you aside for fresh supply. Of course he is the "gentleman" for "admitting" what a great person you have been throughout his devaluation and discard of you! Wow, what a gem he is! Admitting how "perfect" you and he were while seeing another woman! Of course that's "perfect"...FOR HIM. Ruby, I dislike your FREAK more than most on this board. He is a classic narc piece of work who preyed upon you and is still attempting to keep you in the supply loop. Ruby, please do me a favor. Next time you see him in the street walk right past him as if he does not exist. PLEASE DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS FREAK. It will only hurt you. Go NO CONTACT completely, even if you do run into him...look right through him and move on. He doesn't deserve one moment of your time and you do not need to be BLAMED FOR HIS PROBLEMS. Ruby, you are a smart, strong woman with great qualities. Know that. Own that. This loser knows that, too. He will continue to exploit your nature if you let him. DON'T ALLOW IT! I hope this helps, Ruby. Please continue to vent on here...don't acknowledge his self-righteous, lame-assed texts or his presence. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. THOUGH I'D LIKE TO SEND YOUR NARC SPINNING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!

BLAMING. So freaking typical. He was up in some chicks balcony discussing how "hard" it is living with someone so insecure and jealous"???? REALLY??????????? FREAKING "REALLY"???? Ruby, I am pizzed off just reading this!! And this has NOTHING to do with me!! Good Lord....these fools are all the same- DISORDERED! Good riddance! Bless you for going NC on this jerk.....you deserve waaaay better than this! love~ Layla

THEY NEVER CHANGE, THEIR LIES NEVER CHANGE, THEIR LIFE NEVER CHANGES.... THEY ARE THE MOST *USELESS HUMAN *BEINGS TO EVER WALK THE EARTH...I BLOCKED EXN ON F/B, HE DIDNT TAKE IT WELL....BUT B/F I BLOCKED HIM, I NOTICED THAT IT SAID 30 FRIENDS, BUT HE HAD 29ON SHOW, TURNS OUT ONE IS HIDDEN[OH I WONDER WHO?[LOL], HE HAS TOLD PEOPLE IT IS ME THAT IS HIDDEN, B/C WE HAVE TO KEEP IT SECRET.WTF IS THAT ABOUT?...THEY ARE PATHETIC IDIOTS, I SAW EXN TODAY, AND WONDERED WHAT THE HELL I EVER SAW IN HIM